Young Writers Society

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

Anyway let's get right to it,

Escape. That's what they both needed. What they both craved for. At that exact moment in time when their lives were just beginning to shatter again, the first thing they both desired for was escape. What he needed was to take a break from his own suffocating household and what she needed was to find comfort from anything and everything other than an actual human being. Maybe she thought that she was able to find this comfort within nature itself because human beings were just always disappointing. It's strange to think that she knew exactly where she wanted to escape to and he just searched for somewhere peaceful with no clue where his legs would eventually take him. Yet they still found eachother, there, at that exact moment in time. On a cool summer evening. Anyone would have assumed that it was just a regular day, but for those two lonely souls it was something else. He watched her staring into the water. Maybe she was just staying at her reflection, he thought. Deep down however he knew that wasn't true. It was the way she looked into the river. As if she was trying to find something. She didn't even seem to feel his presence until just when he sat right next to her and stared into the river aswell. The relaxing silence seemed to be enough for both of them for a while. Both of them thinking about their lives and wondering what the future would hold now. "Is your story worse than mine?" he asked suddenly after about ten minutes. Her head turned to look directly into his eyes, his voice finally breaking the trance she was in. Her light green eyes startled him. They gave off a frightening vibe at first, but beneath all of that cold mystery he could tell that she was broken. Very broken. "Everyone's story is different. Mine might be worse than yours but you will never see it that way because of your own," she stated matter of factly. She immediately looked straight back into the water as if nothing had happened. "Well," he said. "how about we listen to eachothers stories and make a judgement anyway? Let's see whose story sucks more eh?" She looked back at him curiously. Even after all these years when he sits down and remembers that moment he could have sworn that she even gave him a smile. A small, faint smile, but a smile nonetheless. "Kai," he said being the one to break the silence yet again. "My name is Kai and I'll tell you my story first"

"Arabella," she said softly, almost like she was trying to whisper. "My name is Arabella and I'll make sure to listen. To every word. I promise"

Hello! Ripple here, ready to review.

This definitely does feel like a prologue to a larger novel. I'd love to see where this story goes.

Escape. That's what they both needed. What they both craved for. At that exact moment in time when their lives were just beginning to shatter again, the first thing they both desired for was escape. What he needed was to take a break from his own suffocating household and what she needed was to find comfort from anything and everything other than an actual human being. Maybe she thought that she was able to find this comfort within nature itself because human beings were just always disappointing. It's strange to think that she knew exactly where she wanted to escape to and he just searched for somewhere peaceful with no clue where his legs would eventually take him.

Yet they still found eachother, there, at that exact moment in time. On a cool summer evening. Anyone would have assumed that it was just a regular day, but for those two lonely souls it was something else. He watched her staring into the water. Maybe she was just staying at her reflection, he thought. Deep down however he knew that wasn't true. It was the way she looked into the river. As if she was trying to find something. She didn't even seem to feel his presence until just when he sat right next to her and stared into the river aswell.

The relaxing silence seemed to be enough for both of them for a while. Both of them thinking about their lives and wondering what the future would hold now. "Is your story worse than mine?" he asked suddenly after about ten minutes. Her head turned to look directly into his eyes, his voice finally breaking the trance she was in. Her light green eyes startled him. They gave off a frightening vibe at first, but beneath all of that cold mystery he could tell that she was broken. Very broken. "Everyone's story is different. Mine might be worse than yours but you will never see it that way because of your own," she stated matter of factly. She immediately looked straight back into the water as if nothing had happened. "Well," he said. "how about we listen to eachothers stories and make a judgement anyway? Let's see whose story sucks more eh?"

She looked back at him curiously. Even after all these years when he sits down and remembers that moment he could have sworn that she even gave him a smile. A small, faint smile, but a smile nonetheless.

"Kai," he said being the one to break the silence yet again. "My name is Kai and I'll tell you my story first"

"Arabella," she said softly, almost like she was trying to whisper. "My name is Arabella and I'll make sure to listen. To every word. I promise"

I thought this was really good, I didn't have a lot of suggestions for plot. There were several grammatical mistakes I'd like to point out though. In the first line you say "What they both craved for." Now I could be wrong here, but I think it would just be "What they both craved." No for. "The first thing they both desired for" seems a bit off, maybe something like "The thing they both desired most" would be more clear? You have a few spacing issues, where two words are put together, so if you just read through it again you should be able to find those. "Just when he sat right next to her" I feel like the just doesn't belong there maybe, but it's all about your personal writing style. Sorry that I'm just offering all this nit-picky stuff, the plot and writing didn't seem to have much wrong with it. I really hope this is just the prologue, because I would love to hear more! Let me know if you write any more, I would gladly read it. Great job!