It wasn't her fault

This sounds just like a song I listen to. Its called Older by Sasha Sloan. And the part where you say it wasn't her fault sounds like me.

Hey this is my first review, so this may be awkward, haha.
I really loved this! I personally liked how the last line of the stanza cut off, and you'd have to read the first line of the next stanza to complete the thought. It captured my attention and kept me interested throughout.
I also really loved how you repeated "maybe he just likes you?" several times throughout the poem. I loved every stanza, and in particular, the last two.
Thanks for sharing your work!

An amazing piece. Full of emotions and describing the bare truth through your words. The imagery is subtle yet painful and I absolutely love the repetition of the line "Maybe he just likes you" which frames and guides the poem incredibly.
This was excellent and I hope you would continue to write more and impact us

hi there!

welcome to yws! glad to see that you’re getting into writing poetry! it’s my personal favorite.

quick note, i have not done a review in a while, so take every one of my comments with a grain of salt!

first of all, i noticed the structure of the poem. right away, i thought that this would be a continuous haiku because each stanza had three lines. i think that if you could artfully make this poem a running haiku, that would be very interesting. as i read on, though, i was confused in how you split up each stanza.

“ She wiped off black tears

And threw an old sweater on

Trying to hide from



The jeers of the crowd

Maybe he just likes you?

It wasn’t her fault that”

right from the get go, you cut off the last words of the two stanzas, which was very confusing and i had to try to make the connection. this at times can seem choppy. with poetry, you have to try to find a good way to start new lines so it isn’t super confusing to the reader. in the poem, you use some personification, especially when you talk about “the stars mocking her,” which i love. use more of that figurative language because when done right, it is absolutely beautiful and adds so much more to the poem. with that, you need to do more showing, rather than telling. show us how she feels, show us how the male character feels.

one thing that really shines in this poem is the use of the “maybe he just likes you” motif. adding those in throughout the poem reminders the reader of what you’re trying to convey, and it shows us her thoughts. it really contrasts from the rest of the poem, because through your other words, you’re basically saying that he doesn’t like her and he is only using her, which proves that it wasn’t even her fault.

i think you did a great job with this, but there is definitely lots of room to add on! i hope to see you grow in your writing!

-yellow