Published August 21, 2010
[iProbably not my best work but beings I had an assignment to do I thought I'd give it a try. Hope you like it.
][/i]
We're all given a name
Secretly given hidden blame
Parents probably don't realize it
But names have a way of coming to fit
Likely to do the same
Creating your own kind of shame
But those who know
Probably won't let it show
Keep up the tradition
No new transition
An endless echo
Creating new woe
Same old rhyme
Created to hold throughout time
Always passing down old names
Always kept within hidden reins
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Canary word: Present
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Thanks for the reviews. And those three stanzas were all about the same thing so ya. And thanks for pointing out the mistake.
To make a play on the above reviewers name, that was SImply the Best! Ba, pa, pa, paaa. Better than all the rest! Ba,pa,ba,ba...
This is really what I feel about your poem. However three stanzas made me frown:
Firstly the first of those stanzas didn't make sense until I reached the third. But that's mostly my fault. I think also that these were just repeating upon each other.
Please state exactly what the restrictions of your assignment were so that I can no what to rip to shreds
I think the rhyming felt a bit forced with tradition & transition and in some places a word out or in could've made a word of difference in understanding for laymen like me.
This is good and I like the rhyming pattern.
That's the only mistake I came across.
I like these parts. The words are simple but they're not meaningless.
And you said this was for an assignment? Everything I write for assignments rarely turns out half decent.
Good job!