Eternal Friend

Wow. That's a powerful poem. I like the similes and the rhyming, though some of the rhyming words don't fit as easily as the others, but that's okay it's still really good. Maybe the reason I like this poem so much is because I can relate to it, but I think most people can relate to it even if they haven't lost a friend because everyone's lost something they wish they hadn't in their lifetime. Good work, and don't stop writing!

hey, I really enjoyed this poem and feel I'm not sure how exactly but really happy that its my poem that inspired this poem I like how you made your emotions and feeling known and the way you show true friendship or love can last throughout anything to some people or thats the impression I got from this, I'll look forward to reading your work as you keeping writing more well done, keep on writing and I think your work can only get better

amandajo wrote:I feel a throbbing under my feet,
A loud, raucous beat;
Under the full moon, in the eternal rain
I stand, captured by an invisible chain
Holding me in place
Below the intoxicating sky full of grace
The stars dance across my bleary vision,
The earth breaks into a divine division.
I feel myself falling into the dark;
It closing behind me, with barely a mark.
Like I never was, or have never been;
It will never be like it was back who knows when.
Desperate loss, I stare where the sky used to be,
Remembering when the I was a we.
It seems like a crater in the middle of my being;
I don't know what I could possibly be seeing.
So much has changed since then,
Only God knows where we've been.
I only wish that I had known
Where your heart had flown.
We had been so close
But you were the one who chose
To end it all;
Why must I be pushed into a perpetual fall?
Yet I don't blame you
When you felt something so true.
So now I'm trapped within this hole.
Blinded, like a mole.
I'm stuck in your silence
So quiet, almost violence.
It may never end
But even so, you remain my eternal friend.

The poem excellent! You're a true writer! The imagery of the poem is nice and very consistent, and as the other reviewers said, the similes are great! My only problem is that at times I feel like the rhyming is a little bit forced. Just make it flow naturally; it doesn't always have to sound great to be great. Keep on writing, you have a talent!

~Lindsay
"If we don't change, we don't grow. If we don't grow, we aren't really living" ~Anonymous

Hey thanks and I like how it is so ya I re-read it and thats how I wanted it to be but thanks for the review.

Hi Amandajo I'll be your reviewer today. I like this piece. None of the stanzas really seemed forced to me.

amandajo wrote:It closing behind me, with barely a mark.

I'm stuck in your silence
So quiet, almost violence.
It may never end
But even so, you remain my eternal friend.

Thanks but I don't even think this person is my friend anymore so... Thanks for the review anyway. Keep reading.