When all you have are dry, green tea leaves and teenage dreams,
Wear your sex like faded jeans,
Because the onlookers will keep looking and
All and the jealous will be entertained.
Hold Jesus in your heart and freedom in your hair
And catch Venus in your eyes like a summer’s flare.
There is nothing like a teenage dream;
No one like the real James Dean.
Nowhere like a lover’s sea,
Cried with tears of waiting and confusion;
Romance lost in shrouded gray
And reconciled before the bay.
Tell yourself you will be fine, because
I am here to make you mine.
We have no more makeup,
Only flaws.
Do not give me “truth.”
I crave your honesty.
And if it will break my heart,
So be it.
Because all I have
Are tea leaves, dreams, and faded jeans.
Yet this is not enough for me.
We know we both seek the same—
Not the vapid Cupid’s game.
We are the restless innocents of outcast youth,
Swimming and gliding past old memories
Of swing sets and rustic beauty.
After hopeless rain falls from vicious skies
We watch birds soar through the pink divide,
Wishing like a bastard on falling stars,
Praying to God with our crooked hearts.
We also sing to trees because they rule the world,
And dive into seas for each other’s pearls.
Do not say you love me, even though you might.
I need not those words to remember this night.
A floral kiss is my one desire
To seal my inner, longing fire.
Whether you take me now or take me down,
I celebrate here because my dreams are found.
While I sip on cool green tea in the ocean breeze
And wear my faded jeans and traveled tee,
I promise to love you loud and whisper proud:
I am a dreamer
And you are my teenage dream.
Ah teenage love! Sigh! Ahem! Anyways lets get this started!! So it look like you wrote a poem about your crush and teenage love in general right?? Sooo this is a very nice poem..each and every feeling that is bring expressed is so darn true for us teenagers is it not? Well I liked this poem very much! Like it did not strike any chord in me but it really gelt nice to read the poem...overall not many faults are there but its alright...also it looks a bit heavy when you see it but once you read it, its all ok ok...like this poem is so baby pink but from far it looks bright pink if you get what I mean....then again the central theme is also fine the mood is ok too...a pretty fine poem overall!
Well done!
It's a good poem, but a little slow and wordy (edging on prose).
I like the idea of the repetition of the tea/tea leaves though I think you could do more with it because now it's just kind of in there but it doesn't really serve a purpose to the overall poem.
Great images; pearls, james dean, the stars. A lot of the lines are very good, and very insightful, like " dive into seas for each other’s pearls." and "Wishing like a bastard on falling stars," (favorite line hands down).
Also, the speaker's focus is all over the place: first he's talking to "you" -- is he talking to the object of his love, you in the general sense, or you the reader? Then he's addressing no one, then lover, then he switches to we and the reader hardly gets a sense of who he's speaking to the entire time (or if it's multiple people, or just one, a specific person, the reader, ect.)
Finally and on the same note there's a lot of choppiness to the flow; the images and the rhyme scheme switch suddenly and abruptly and it reads as underdeveloped and flitty.
Animal is here to
save the worldreview,Let's started...
It is very lovely poem indeed but some things need improvement
This was pretty good and this rhymes but you don't move on a proper scheme, and if you want to rhyme, then follow a pattern, there should be pattern to all poem.
This is a wonderful poem indeed but see the pattern and correct it and also I found no spellings mistake
-Ani