It seems so dark in here.
When i'm all alone.
I want to hold my head up high.
To see out of this deep hole.
I'm on the verge of tears, I try to hold them in.
They're falling down like rain it's been like this for days.
I seem so alone.
Though the room is full.
What the heck is wrong.
Why can't I be.
The way you want me.
I'm on the verge of tears.
I try to hold them in.
They're falling down like rain.
It's been like this for days.
Wow i'm so ashamed.
I should'nt have told you this.
Oh I feel so broken.
You have made me feel like this.
I'm on the verge of tears.
i just can't hold them in.
Now they're coming down.
hrder than the rain
It'll be a few more days.
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Canary word: Present
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
It's really good poem but you need to be more descriptive. But I'm struggling with the same thing called "painting a picture'. You have to use adjectives to describe the feelings so that the readers can see the image in their heads. Anyways, I thought it could do more work because it's just how you feel. With adding adjectives it describes it more and the story seems more appealing to the eye.
Over all good job with the poem! Keep trying your best!
"They're falling down like rain.
It's been like this for days.
Wow i'm so ashamed. "
I like this part becuase you manged to put a ryhme within this poem but the words could be stronger. Also, I think you puncation is at every end of the sentence even though the topic isn't done. You shouldn't be adding periods at the end and instead of periods add commas.