One way or another
It’ll fall into place
Your just a big pretender
But I’m sure I’m sure I’m sure I’m sure of
The lies
-now, you scream blue murder when I
Turn and call you a liar
But you twist my words so serpentine
I don’t want the responsibility
Put an old head on young shoulders
And it’s scary thinking that you end up with something like me
And it’s
So ironic that
They say I’m like you
But at least I know that sticks and stones are damn right
Words don’t hurt
They just stick to your insides
Don’t want your body
It’s cancerous
Just like the vows you swore were true
Under the sky of baby blue
Why tell me to wipe my eyes?
When all you do after that
Is make my fight to keep them dry
And then, you say there was never anyone
But me
Put an old head on young shoulders
And it’s scary thinking that you end up with something like me
And it’s
So ironic that
They say I’m like you
But at least I know that sticks and stones are damn right
Words don’t hurt
They just stick to your insides
Like those cigarettes you smoke
Hope you inhale all that nicotine so hard one day you choke
Cause I’m sure
If you love them so much
You don’t need me here to clean up your mess
Or to be the punch cushion
Just get yourself away
You know part of you will stay
Words like the rust across the bridge
Weighs it down and make it weak
Easy to break a frail twig
When it’s cold
Away from open arms
Lost it’s bark now…
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
You use extremely strong imagery, some repeated. The part about words sticking to your insides was pure genius. The entire song really, rivaled Kelly Clarkson for a breakup bash. It flowed well. I could almost hear it being sung. I will be honest and say I really, really liked this (and I don't often love poetry, lyrics especially). Your intent is definite, and your imagery unique. Go you!
I liked this... It has depth to it and flows easily, in my eyes.
I'm not that good at giving advice if I must say, and I can't see anything wrong with this. I like your structure and I like the "storyline" of the poem.
Good work.