The Fart,
It has been man’s best friend for millennia past and millennia to come.
Used by the great Pharaohs of Egypt, the emperors of China, the Queens of England to relieve themselves of their political exertions.
Even the presidents of the United States made their ‘Presidential Farts’ or ‘First Farts’ in the Oval Office.
Within seconds of its release, it can transform a large quiet room into a hall of pandemonium.
Within seconds of its release, it can cause laughter in a room where laughter was never tolerated.
There are the loud farts. They are the funniest and fiercest.
There are the silent farts, exuded from the buttocks in a low hissing tone. Do not undermine its capability. For it is the deadliest fart known to man.
It can cause a thousand warriors to flee. Cause a hundred doves to fall to the ground.
Perhaps, if harnessed correctly, it could become the most dangerous bioweapon ever created.
The fart.
What would we DO without it?
How would we LIVE without it?
What would we BE without it?
Brethren, I urge you all to DO the fart, LIVE the fart, and BE the fart. For I pray that one day, all nations, all leaders, and all peoples, will drop their differences and fart together as one!
- Martin Luther Jing Jr.
It is unique. I will go as far as to say that a poem has never instructed me to be a fart. It causes the phantom of the smell itself to assault my senses. I'm shocked to say it made me feel the fart. As obnoxious as this writer is, evidently, I can make no judgements. I like to think of myself as obnoxious, simply because that is the kinder version of the word. In actuallity, I don't think we would particularly miss the fart itself, but the bacteria that make it. These bacteria break down foods we wouldn't normally digest, and the end result is a fart. This, of course, is the very dumbed down explanation, but that's because I'm simply not a fart expert, and as such do not know the whole story. If I did, that would make me a sad, sad panda. Reply those who got that refference. Anyway, back to the reading. What would we do without the fart? Well, certainly not fart. How would be live? Not sure how life would differ. No nead to fear awkward moments, like when you thought it was a fart, but really... We'll not go there just yet. I found the fact that you used Martin Luther King Junior to represent your fart speach. Also your use of the word Fierce to describe flatulance. I had better recieve a crapload of points for this...
Methrirr123
Thanks for the reviews guys.
Expect more from me
LOL what made you come up this poem? It is definately orginal I'll give you that. I enjoyed reading it and nice touch about the silent fart XD
The last part of the poem that mentions Martin Luther King is priceless :3
Nice job! I'm pretty sure this work will brighten alot of people's days in the future.
This isn't the first time I've done this sort of skit. It usually comes to me whenever I have nothing significant to write.
Thanks
This made me laugh! And the title captured my eye. I would never think about writing a poem about farts. Very original! This is a first for me, reading a poem about farts, but I do have to admit that it amused me. One grammar issue that I noticed though: "Within seconds of its release, it can cause laughter in a room where laughter never tolerated." Did you mean "where laughter was never tolerated"? Otherwise, it would seem that laughter was the subject and that it was never tolerating something. But I still loved it and I think this made my day
thanks.
That was an error.
Hey Abel!
I can honestly say that I've never reviewed a piece about farts before...but I suppose there's a first time for everything, right? xD
I am by no means an authority on poetry, and have been told that poetical license allows you to capitalize- or to not capitalize- as you so choose, and so you don't have to, but I always captialize every line of my poems.
But here
and here you don't capitalize, though you capitalize the rest of your lines.
Also, your poem is posted twice.
Other than that...the only thing I can comment on is that you're utterly deranged. xD
Though...I must admit...this poem made me laugh. Epecially this part... 'exuded from the buttocks in a low hissing tone'...xD
I feel immature for admitting this, but it was hilarious. Not many poems tickle my fancy, but this one definitely did.
Keep writing!
~Shady