Facing Fear

Inked here for a review!
Okay Abbyowl, your goal was to personify fear and I believe you hit your mark. You did a great job of this, but I want to give you some advice, although your poem was very well written I felt that it topped abruptly, because just as I was actually feeling this tangible fear you were describing, you stopped and the feeling dissipated.
The goal of a truly inspired author is to try and make your readers feel something, and for them to keep that feeling long after they have stopped reading.
Another writing thing you may want to try is to get an emotion, color, place and describe it, but never once say what it is. In your mind you should be able to see your words form that object, that or your words should be injecting you with that emotion.
This piece was well written, but there is a part that felt a little lost to me,
You said,
"And the tiniest flame that you never remembered to stomp out"
in the midst of all the darkness you drew out a flame, yet you don't explain the flame and don't really draw on or into it, which I feel you should have.
Within fear there is always hope that it will go away.
Well I believe I'm done
~Inked OUT!

i like the theme of the poem. u personified the vice fear all through out the poem. u showed that fear creeps deep in our heart and destroys all good inside us. it makes all our actions bad. i am myself one of the always frigtened peson especially when i step into the examination hall. my hands go numb brain freezes and get goosebumps also my feet shakes. it was inspiring for me.

Hi abbyowl! Nice to meet you~

I like your poem; it's quite descriptive with a pinch of thrill, and that's always good in poetry. However, I feel like you have a lot to say in your lines; because your lines are so descriptive, the reader should have a moment to stop and think about what you're sharing. For this reason, I would suggest you to create stanzas~ Sometimes, when you write poetry that is rich in description and thought, you need to give the reader breaks, if not, it could feel like a novel without paragraphs.

On another note, here's a little thing I noticed that may or may not make sense. While I was reading, I thought the poem was flowing very well, but at one point I ha to stop and tilt my head. xD And that was in the 7th stanza, when you say "you see", I feel like that phrase is a little dissonant there... Mostly because you use much richer vocabulary in the other lines... then again, perhaps you don't mind. And if you don't, there's nothing wrong with that, I'm just sharing my thoughts.


Other than that, I think this was pretty good. Keep writing! ^^

-Solvy

Good job on this!

All I have to say is in your fourth line, a question mark is not really the appropriate punctuation to put there. Instead you should put a period.

It seems pretty cool how you said "Darkness burns bright" since that's so contradictory. I like it!

Keep writing! This is a really creative work.

Wow! That's exactly what this poem is... Wow! You description was on point. Your words were very well written. And your overall message was truly impactful. This poem has so much potential and so much relatablitity that it's hard to totally grasp. Alright, I'm gonna shut up and start reviewing your poem

So... Your detailing. Your detailing is very sophisticated and yet simple. I know that the sentence I just were is a really I ironic, but throughout your piece you have found places to use a lot of detail while in other parts you let the readers mind imagine. It's the perfect balance of detail and mystery.

Also, you have managed to paint a picture with your words. I can vividly see the picture you have drawn due to your detailing. So, great job! I loved it!

The topic of fear, though used before, can allow the author to give new and different perspectives on it. You have managed to take this idea of fear and turn it into something beautiful. While that sounds weird because I again am being ironic, you have somehow managed to make fear seem a little less fearful, I mean your title alone is "facing fear ",

Overall this poem brings a message of hope through your wonderful detailing and unique take on a topic. You have an insane amount of talent!! Especially for this being your first poems! I hope you continue to write more poems, because you have a gift for writing them.

Keep writing bro.

~#41