A Tragic Tale: Chapter 2 - Charms

by abbie651382

Published October 24, 2013

12+

In A Tragic Tale

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It's already been a week since classes started and my situation in my new school was not progressing. People still asked me things about me and my past life. They were asking me to translate some phrases into Mandarin Chinese because they learned that I took up Chinese classes. They actually mistook me to be a part of that race because of my eyes. Actually, I'd got no idea what foreign race was flowing through my veins. Only my eyes told me that I had actually a foreign blood in me. I did not dare trace my roots because my father forbade me to; I inherited my eyes from him.

Everyday I was with different sets of people. I felt like I was just a new item for them to spend their time with. I could imagine how boring their life had been here due to less number of transferees every year and I was actually the only one they had been classmates with since they started high school.

Everyone took interest on me but I could find no permanent friend here. Everybody had their own lives. After hanging out for some time with me, they would leave me and go back to their businesses. I felt like a toy being passed on.

Never did a time came when I had an encounter with the heaven-like guy. I didn't know his name yet and I was also too shy to ask my classmates. I always saw him isolated. He seemed to be an anti-social person. Something in him drew me to him.

I just had finished my lunch and I was walking back to my classroom. My heart suddenly raced when I saw him standing by the door, talking to Vanessa. I impulsively looked down and went to my seat as fast as I could. When I was settled, I couldn't help watching them outside the window. My eyes were bored on him and I couldn't stop myself from smiling as I watched his every move. I thought I was already going nuts. I didn't know why my heart was frantically beating. Just by looking at him sent butterflies in my stomach.

I decided to stop my idiocy and indulge myself to reading. As I had told the class beforehand, my hobby was reading books. What a very amiable move! If I just had glasses, I would actually look nerd.

"Hey Eunice! Why are you blushing?" Rhadilyn asked as she sat down next to me.

"What's that book you're reading?" Jace inquired and looked at the cover of the book. "Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea? Hmm...classic. Is there a romance within the story?"

"No! I just...um...remembered something embarrassing from the part I am reading," I lied quickly.

"Hmm...you're always alone," Jace pointed out and seemed to be thinking for a moment. "Do you want to be a part of our family?"

"Oh, good idea!" Rhadilyn exclaimed.

"Family?" I repeated.

"Uh-huh," Rhadilyn said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "We've all been classmates since we started schooling here. We're constantly the top twenty and only our ranks change."

"Hey!" Jace interrupted. "Have you forgotten that James just accelerated to the top twenty last year?"

"Oh, right," Rhadilyn remembered. "James was a bum, even a part of gang. We only knew him by face. We didn't know his name until we met him in this section on the first day of class last year. We were all surprised."

"Who had been dropped in this section?" I asked. "I mean, since there are only supposed to be twenty students here."

Jace and Rhadilyn seemed to be saddened by my question. I quickly felt guilty about asking.

"I'm sorry," I said, looking down.

"No, don't worry," Jace held my hand. "You see, without anyone challenging us being constantly the top twenty, we all became attached to each other. Nessie's grades slacked because she had to skip a month. She went to Los Angeles along with her family to deal with some issues."

"Not that we're saying James shouldn't be here," Rhadilyn interjected. "James actually deserved to be here. We were all surprised by his performance last year. He even made it to top three!"

"Anyway, going back to our original topic," Jace cut in. "You see, all of us here are so attached to each other. But, of course, cliques are unavoidable. There are small groups in this class called families. Rhadilyn and I belong to Poop Family."

I almost had not stopped myself from chuckling. "Poop Family?"

"I know it's funny," Rhadilyn also laughed. "There were originally five of us: me, Jace, Karl, Chuck, and Marie. The latter one transferred school. Chuck decided to quit. We're still hoping he will come back though. Now, only the three of us remain. It was Karl who actually named this family. He said he wanted to be original."

"And that was what original meant to him," Jace giggled. "Crazy, he is."

"We actually call each other poop," Rhadilyn said.

"If you join us, we'll be calling you poop too," Jace told me.

"Well, there's nothing to lose," I smiled. "I'd love to."

"OMG! Is this for real? You want to be a part of our family?" Jace excitedly asked me.

I nodded and soon Rhadilyn announced to the whole class my membership to their family. That caught everyone's attention. Moments after, I could hear jokes and comments about that. I suddenly felt welcome and I was happy about that.

Some minutes later, we noticed the ones outside coming in. That simply meant Mrs. Nigel's approaching. Everyone then scrambled back to their seats.

I returned my focus on the class discussion. I had been actively participating and Mrs. Nigel seemed impressed by my performance.

After an hour, Mrs. Nigel bade the class goodbye and Mr. Mabbott came in. He started the class with a prayer then greeted us. Once we sat down, he called on the reporters. His subject was Health.

A group of boys posted visual aids on the chalkboard while Vanessa introduced their group and their topic to be discussed.

I got my notebook out from my bag and started copying, while listening to their report. I had observed that my classmates were good public speakers. I admit I was one but I never had thought someone would be a better speaker than me.

My heart skipped when I saw the angel-like guy in front. He was my classmate? I mentally slapped myself for not realizing. I should've known already when I saw him talking to Vanessa by the door.

All of my senses stopped working then. I wasn't listening to their report already and all I did was to stare at his perfect face. Even after he delivered his report, I couldn't get my eyes off him and followed him. Still, I didn't know his name and I was dying to know it!

"Hey Eunice! You've stopped copying. Look, I'm almost done," Rhadilyn proudly whispered to me.

That brought me back to reality. "I'm sorry. I was just - um - I just got absorbed to their discussion. They're so good!" I gave her a mocking smile.

She eyed me suspiciously but said nothing. She instead turned back to her notes.

Mr. Mabbot dismissed his class and sooner, Mr. Barks came in. His subject would be the last for today. He immediately gave out index cards to us once he stepped inside.

"Listen," he said. "Write your name on that card along with your year and section. Divide it into four - two in front and two at the back. While doing that, I will be collecting a penny for your payment. That card is not free, of course."

Doing this took the ten minutes of the period. After he collected the cards, he shuffled them and picked randomly.

"Miss Sa-chi-el..." he curiously read the card he picked out.

"Miss!" the class laughed.

"Oh, sorry. Mr. Sachiel Mark Jacks," Mr. Barks corrected.

The class laughed at the person called. He shyly stood up and I could tell that he was pissed at our classmates. Wait, he was...So his name was Mark?

"So, I have given you an assignment yesterday," Mr. Barks told him. "If you really did your homework, would you tell me what a function is?"

"Erm..." he trailed off.

The class laughed at him.

"Sit down, Mr. Jacks," Mr. Barks said.

He sank in his chair. He wasn't good in Math, I just discovered. I turned back my attention to Mr. Barks's lesson. I participated during the recitation and I always got the attention of everyone.

"Hey, isn't that a smart girl who has just transferred?" I overheard someone asked.

"Yeah, she is. Wow! The school's so lucky to have her," another said.

Dismissal time was so unruly here. After I bade goodbye to my new-found family, I had to wove my way before I get out of the school gate. I traveled alone in going home. I figured out that Jace took the same route in going home as mine but she couldn't join me tonight. She had to go somewhere and she didn't want to bother me for company.

"How's school, sis?" Audrey asked me as I put down my bag.

"Just the usual," I answered nonchalantly.

"Come on! You're classmates with the cute tall guy! Won't you share stories about him?"

"You mean-"

"Sachiel Mark Jacks? Yes. If you must know, my classmates and I are so attracted to him."

"I do not interact much so I could not give you the information you need."

"Nerd," she muttered before turning back to her laptop.

I sighed. My sister also liked Mark.

Comments & reviews · 2
User avatar
NightWolf
Review
NightWolf wrote a review Review · Oct 27, 2013

Hello NightWolf here to review for you today.

I personally really like this chapter. Your description is amazing, especially at the start, and your dialogue is so believable. When I read it aloud, it sounds real, so congratulations. Your voice is consistent throughout, as is your tense. These are hard to keep up throughout a piece. A very big well done here.

I wish we knew the character's name, it would help the reader sympathize with her a lot.more. I'm sure you'll add it in somewhere.

There isn't a lot of plot, maybe you could add another conflict? It would just add a bit more to the story, if you know what I mean.

I would love to read more. Keep up the good work!

Hi! Thanks for the review! I will surely consider your points. ^_^

User avatar
Cheetah
Review
Cheetah wrote a review Review · Oct 24, 2013

Hi, Cheetah here, ready to review your piece.

I liked the description you used in the first few paragraphs, how the girl felt alone. It flowed very nicely into her description of Mark. You're also very good at dialogue. The conversations your characters had all felt very real.

There were a few small things, however, which would be nice to know.

1) The story could use a little more plot. What I got was there's a girl who feels left out, she likes this guy but doesn't know his name, she likes to read, she finds out his name, and her sister likes him also. Maybe add a little more meat to the bones?

2) The girl has personality, but I need to know her name! It would be nice to introduce her toward the beginning. Maybe someone could call out her name?

Other than that, this look good! Well done! :)

Hi! Thanks for the review and for some suggestions. I'll consider them in my story for improvement. ^_^



I AM ONE WITH MUSHROOMS
— inksthewriter