Love is a positive energy that flows,
Where the heart just twists and rolls,
Making the hand and feet go numb.
Confides us with its beauty,
Making us go speechless and dumb!
Connection between two one feels,
Perfect crime when heart one steals!
Dizziness and happiness as it seeps in!
Making one feel! Oh! My its heaven!
True energy and passion let out,
Though the love seems short,sweet and stout.
Moments of laughter smiles from within,
In all situations they blend in!
Love is not a bad thing at all,
Just misunderstood by everyone and all!
If one's inner self dances like flames on stove
Then the person is madly in love!
Please review!
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125,937 Literary Works • 672,935 Reviews
Hello ab2heaven!
I guess you've been writing your heart out lately, huh?
Yes. Love is, and always will be, beautiful. Love is the most wonderful thing one can have. It's the eighth wonder of the world.
I can feel your honesty and sincerity in this poem, which is a good thing. Are you in love? Inspired perhaps?
I noticed that there were lots of grammatical and typographical errors. Others may have noticed them too. Maybe you should try fixing them or substituting them. I don't need to cite them I think you are aware of them.
Also, I noticed these:
What do you mean by these lines? These lines need clarification, I guess.
Great things, no matter how great, still have room for improvement. Your poem is adorable. I like it.
Keep writing. Have a nice day.
Hey there. Welcome to YWS. Let's get started.
First of all, I really liked this poem. It has the truth in here, it really does. I can relate to this poem, and when I was reading it, I thought, so true.
Nitpicks I sought out:
This line doesn't make any sense.
This has several mistakes. The 'o' in Oh! needs to be capitalized, so does the 'm' in my.
Also, were you trying to rhyme in and heaven? It doesn't work.
One last thing: What does one feel? the happiness you talked about in the line above, or a whole different emotion?
'm' in moments needs to be capitalized.
Again: in and in don't ryhme, if that's what you were trying to do.
Also, I think situation would sound better plural?
Okay, that's it for the nitpicks.
Let's get positive now.
My favorite line is probably:
This is sooo true. Love is misunderstood, and here you are to state it.
Your poem is very lovely! Many people write about love, and this was a great one!
Keep writing, and have fun on YWS!
~ WillowPaw1
That was beautiful and really captures my personal feelings on love. welcome to YWS by the way. I'm Kat. Your grammar was very nice but I wish there was more clarity and flow here. Don't take this in a bad way it's just that some parts for me as a reader were a little confusing. Your thoughts just felt a little cluttered and a good flow would make it read smoother. Read it aloud or have someone else who doesn't know what you are thinking until they read this read it aloud to you. It isn't t choppy though. I liked the way you described love and to me it just kind of clicked and made me feel good, that's what a good writing is supposed to do. AND YES! Love is so very misunderstood thank you for adding that.
Hope this helped
~Kat
Hey thank you for taking time to review...thank you for your feedback...I required them and I shall use them! Next time I right I shall make it more clear and apt!
thankyou!
Awwww, this is a totally adorable poem that chimes truth. I love it. Just a little heads up on an though; "Prefect crime when heart one steals!" This doesn't make sense, try and reword it, and perfect doesn't say perfect haha. There are a couple of other tiny tiny mistakes concerning spelling and capital letters and stuff, but you can fix that, just read over it again and check it out.
Ok, now to the good bits. This is actually pretty damn accurate I think. I mean, I've never been in love, but I know people who have and they certainly do behave "madly" around the person and laugh and smile at pretty much everything they do. Love, what a crazy thing.
You pretty much captured it!
Nice work.
Hey..thanks a lot for reviewing! I shall look into the typo errors! yeah...love does crazy things to people! Thank you once again!