Published November 11, 2015
Chloe ran her hands through her hair, pulling out a few strands that had wrapped around her fingers. The air was cold, the sidewalk covered with puddles from the early morning raindrops. A gust of wind ruffled through her light blonde hair. Chloe sighed.
The past few days were taken over by rain, covering yards and flooding the rivers. She loved the rain. She was alone yet with the rain she wasn’t. Her parents had stopped talking to her, moved away and left her to live with her grandma in the rainy town of Everglades. She looked at her phone. Nothing. She wasn’t shocked that none of her friends or family had tried to contact her. Chloe began showing signs of depression after losing her best friend two years ago. Marie. She didn't dare talk about it with anyone. After that everyone, even her own parents stopped speaking to her.
Forget them. Only three more months, she thought. Her grandmother was putting her in a new school. Windgate High. A boarding school for children who are “different”, more like just depressed and alone. She didn’t see herself as depressed, but just as not wanting to live anymore. No one understood. She walked a few blocks from the house to the river. Looking down from the bridge at the rushing water, splashing the rocks as it flew by.
It could all be over with a simple jump. No more being alone, no more hurting. No pain. Even in her head the words sounded like lies. She knew no one would miss her, yet she felt like she had a purpose on earth. That some way or another her life was gonna change. She laughed.
It was almost time to head to school when she arrived back at her house. Her grandma sitting at the dining room table eating her usual doughnut and eggs. How could she eat that every single day, Chloe thought to herself while smiling on the outside.
“Oh my dear good morning Chloe, have a good morning walk?” Her grandma yelled as she noticed her in the room. Chloe sighed.
“I guess, the rain was comforting.”
“Now my dear have you been taking your medicine? You don’t seem like you have.” Medicine, the stuff she got when her grandmother dragged her to the doctors after her last slip up. She had never even taken the medicine. She could feel her grandmother staring at her.
“Yes, I’m just nervous about this whole new school ordeal.” She lied, knowing that she would believe it. She believed every other reason if it meant Chloe wasn’t depressed.
“Go get your things, it’s time to go.” Her grandmother handed her her car keys and watched her walk out the door. As Chloe sped off, she knew her grandmother was waving out the window. Let’s get this over with, she said in her mind.
Windgate was only ten minutes away from her house. She drove up the driveway and into the parking lot. The gates around the school stood out, brick walls over 8 feet tall. The building itself looked run down and old, vines had taken over the sides. The parking lot was packed with cars, old cars, rusty cars and brand spanking new cars. Chloe felt her stomach tense up as she grabbed her bag and headed for the door. She didn’t want to be around people like her, depressed. She wanted to be by herself and deal with it alone. They would just make her talk about it. About her parents. Her last slip. Everything.
She opened the front door and gasped. The foyer was majestic. Gold tile lining the floor, a spiral staircase wrapped around one side of the wall. A woman stood at the front desk with “Main Office” written right above her.
“Hello my dear, how can I help you?” The lady was smiling at her. Showing off her pretty smile that went along with her smooth skin.
“Uhm yeah, I’m new here. Chloe Tane. I have no idea where to go.” Chloe stood there awkwardly as the lady walked around the desk and through the door. She wore a tight dress that was horrid.
“Well Ms. Chloe, I am Mrs. Banner. Here let me show you around. I’m sure you’ll warm up to Windgate. It really is a wonderful place.” Chloe’s pace quicken to catch up with the lady.
Mrs. Banner had showed her all of her classes and where to go. The classes are large, spacious. Filled with children who varied in age. From 12 to 18. All these kids are like me? She whispered to herself. Her heart sunk. She crossed her arms when the tour had stopped.
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I liked this but I felt you ended it abruptly, maybe go back and add a cliff hanger or a strong point to end it on.

I also found it a bit contradictory like when Chloe says she doesn't see herself as depressed, but than goes on to say she didn't want to around people like her; Depressed. (sorry I don't know how to insert the quote into the review.) Though that just could be Chloe, were all a bit like that in everyday life.
I like how you made the character relatable, I felt like she was a real person and am intrigued by what went down before the novel.
I found a couple of grammar errors but all can be fixed up.
Nice work
Mikki
Wow this a neat short story, the thing is I want you keep writing add more details. I Love your story and i want you to keep writing the story and add details to it and also the character's emotion or feelings about something. Is she sad, happy, mad? Add emotions help understand the character is going through. Thx for reading this review HAPPY WRITING!!!
I didn't put a lot of details in the first chapter because as the story goes on you find more out about Chloe, and other characters. The first chapter you see Chloe as just depressed and going to a new school.
Hello there, how are you? I hope that you are OK
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It was a nice read to be honest, because that every time I read about Chloe, she reminded me of Chloe Moretz and I have a strong crush on her :p .
Now I know that something strange is going on with her, I knew that from beginning. The way how everyone left her and how she become depressed, it must be something supernatural going on with her. Maybe she has some kinda powers and that must be why she was sent to that school, with other bunch of "different" kids.
It would've been nice to know what type of power she has, or what type of school she got in to.
A mention of her difference from other kids would've been better, like for example she might be a witch, telepathic, genetically altered, etc.
However, since I thought its only the first chapter, maybe you saved to describe all that in the second one.
At last but not least, the grammar was great, the tone of story is also good, makes the reader to want more of it. I hope you are writing more.
Good day to you, keep up the great work.
Actually she has no powers..... YET. Can't give away much details. But she is depressed, it has something to do with the death of her best friend. Later on in the story you'll see how it all comes together.
Thank you for your review