Real

I scurry around my room to finish getting ready. I finish doing my hair, apply final touches to my make up, and slip into my dress. I gaze at myself in the mirror. My light auburn hair falls down to my shoulders, with as few knots and tangles as I can manage. The dark bags underneath my eyes are finally starting to go away, and hopefully stay away. The deranged look in my eyes has lessened, but they still remain tarnished, losing the polish and shine of just a few weeks ago. My hand grasps a small plastic cup. Inside lay 3 small, salmon pills. They're suppose to keep me sane, but all I see in them is a drain, sucking in all I hold dear.

I pull out a small wooden box and undo the lock. Inside are other pills just like the ones into cup. The small capsules fall gently into the insides of the box. I press down on the kid and it closes with a gentle click. I put the box away, and sit on my bed. My bedside clock ticks quietly as I wait for my date to arrive. I wait patiently, as the clock ticks on. Worried, I walk into my bathroom to make sure I didn’t take my medication today.

A sharp rap rings through my house. I put on my heels and walk quickly towards the door. My date is standing at the door, awaiting me. He is holding an emerald green umbrella, shiny and pure against the worn down doorframe. Outside, it is pouring buckets. My date smiles at me, revealing his glowing white teeth. He is dressed in a sparkling new black suit, with a spotless white dress shirt and radiant sapphire blue tie. I look down and sigh at my faded green dress.

“Shall we depart?” he asks. He offers me his hand. I accept, and he encloses my shaky, cold hand in his warm, strong hand. We walk towards his car, water splashing as we walk through the freezing cold puddles. The driver opens the door, and we climb in. I curl up against my date as we are driven through the streets. Between the soothing warmth of his body and the patter of the rain, I feel my eyes grow heavy in the car.

“You can go to sleep.” my date says gently. I close my eyes and let the car rock me to sleep. When I awaken, we are pulling into a gigantic estate.

“What if I lose control again?” I ask, my voice nervous.

“You won’t. I know you are strong enough to stay in control.” he says reassuringly. We step out of the car, and walk up the grand entrance. The stones beneath us are wet, and pleasantly weathered by age. He opens the wooden door for me, and I step inside. We hand the doorman our invitations, simple green pieces of paper. He looks at them for a second, before smiling and welcoming us.

We stroll down the brightly lit hallway, stopping to stare at the paintings on the wall. A waiter comes up and offers me a drink. I refuse, but my date accepts. He sips on the red liquid from a tall, thin glass. As we walk along the hallway, we come to the main ballroom. My date takes my hand and leads me to the center. He places his hand on my waist, and slowly dance to the music, as if lost in a dream. As we dance, the room slowly turns about us, exquisitely decorated in fine white paint and gold trim. Outside it continues to rain, with bolts of lightning occasionally lighting up the dark of the night. This whole rotates around us, for we are the sun and everything else is our solar system.

Warmth spreads from where my date kisses my neck. I smile and laugh as our dance becomes wilder, eventually gaining the attention of everyone else in the room. They just stare at us blankly, but we pay no them attention. I take a break to go grab a drink. The thin red liquid tastes bitter, but gives me a fire inside. It stirs a craving I haven’t had in ages, a craving for life. I take another glass, and another. I lose count after 6 or 7.

I walk back to the dance floor to find my partner, but he is nowhere in sight. I walk around the house, looking for him, but to no avail. I can feel panic rising up in me, I can’t lose him, not again.

“Look who it is!” a malevolent voice shrieks behind me. “It’s the freak who sees things.”

“Back off!” I shout.

“Where’s your newest imaginary friend?” she asks, laughing.

“He’s real this time!” I shout back.

“Well, where is he?” she demands. I run off, frantically searching for my date.

“I know he is real. I know it with all of my heart. Why can’t they see it? I’m the freak, for what seeing reality as it is? No they are the freaks; they are just blind!” I think to myself. I spend what seems like ages searching for my date, but he isn’t there. I can feel tears burning down cheeks. I refuse to accept that he isn’t there, I know he is. I look down to see my hands, bloodied and covered and cuts, and shards of glass from the mirror next mirror. flittering through the air.

“You see what you do,” the voice says behind me, “all you do is destroy.” Her words burn, through my ears, my brain, and my soul. I just want them gone. I try to block out the horrible fire, but it still finds a way in.

“You’re just a petty bitch who can’t get a real guy!” a voice shouts from my mouth. “Why do you have go and shit on everyone else’s life?”

“All you do is destroy yourself. You bring this on yourself. It’s not me, it’s you. The attention-whore who sees fake people!” she retorts. I feel like I’m going to vomit. My entire body is on fire, the smoke blinding me. I punch the girl in the face, then punch again and again until blood is pouring out of her nose. Then I kick her until falls over, I just beat the shit out of her. I’m about to kick her again, when a voice calls me away.

I run to him, and my wrap my arms around him, the bloody on my hands staining his suit.

“I thought you had left forever!” I cry out, hysterical.

“I would never leave you.” he says, his voice gentle and calming. He reaches to wipe the tears from my face, but I smack his hand away.

“Please, don’t touch me.” I plead.

I can’t hold back the vomit much longer. I don’t know how I made it in time, but I find myself hurling into the toilet. When I finish, I catch a glimpse of a girl in the mirror. She is nothing like the calm collected girl I saw earlier. Her hair is a mess; her eyes are wild. Tears stain her cheeks, eroding into heart. I put my hand against hers.

“What happened?” I whisper to her. I exit and go to find my partner. “I think I’m ready.” I mutter, my voice weak and hoarse. He grabs my hand, and we run out of the house, into the woods behind it. The mud from the rain splashes up, coating our clothes.

“Don’t look back!” he yells. The branches tear at my dress, ripping it in many different places. We run and run until we come to a cliff. “Are you sure you’re ready,” he asks. I look down at the valley, now shrouded in a grey fog. It is a long way down.

“Will they catch me?” I ask, with a hint of fear in my voice.

“Yes my darling, they will.” he answers. I look down one more time. Meanwhile, the rain continues to soak us, chilling us to the bone. I slip off my shoes, now covered in mood, and step to the edge of the cliff.

“Whenever you’re ready,” he tells me, gently. His words surround me, edging me off the cliff.

“What about you?” I ask.

“I will be right behind you,” he says, “then we will be together forever.” He smiles at me, before disappearing in a wisp of fog. I hear a million voices, some telling me to jump, other telling me not to. Ultimately, it is his voice gets through. A real voice.

“I love you,” it whispers, “do this, and we can be together forever.” I take a deep breath, close my eyes, and step of the edge. His words will forever echo in my mind.