Dare I Say

by _Anti_

Published September 16, 2006

Don't let these troubles come down and splatter you
Like rain from the dark clouds, dangerous and wet.
Force you to the ground, then drench and depress you,
As tears stream down your cheeks holding problems of your debt.

Don't let the folk who assume what's best for us
Make you change yourself; for better or for worse.
Or fear your suppressed soul turning love into nothingness,
Like candles being blown out- this love will soon disperse.

Life is like a blackbird, flying every single morn.
It takes off, then flies up and down til it finally finds its way.
Yet if winds carry it all the way, its feelings would be torn.
Life's never in one's full control- dare I say?

Comments & reviews · 4
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Phoenixfire
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Phoenixfire commented Comment · Sep 18, 2006

love the sentiment. I don't know if I like 'dare I say' at the end, but it might grow on me. good poem.

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Armadian
Review
Armadian wrote a review Review · Sep 18, 2006

Tropicana wrote:I liked your poem very, very much. But the one issue I had was that you rhymed 'you' and 'you' in the first stanza. Other than that it was perfectly perfect. =)


Agree'd you rhymed you and you together in the first stanza. It was perfect other then that. I liked how you described everything.

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Tropicana
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Tropicana commented Comment · Sep 17, 2006

I liked your poem very, very much. But the one issue I had was that you rhymed 'you' and 'you' in the first stanza. Other than that it was perfectly perfect. =)



perceive me if you want to, i will exist regardless
— soundofmind