E - Everyone

Singles and Pairs (4) [discontinued]

by Zoom

Jeremy

It was a testament to my sister’s trust, that she believed my story without question.

“A gem-hound? Wow!” Belle's large green eyes buzzed with excitement as she vaulted from one end of our treehome to the other. She did this in a single bound—which spoke of our boxy living quarters as much as her enthusiasm—and wrapped her thin arms around me. Her chin dug into my torso as she stared up, enormous grin revealing every one of her teeth, bushy tail swaying to the beat of her unending avidity. There was no question that we were related. Not only did she also inherit the ears and tail from our distant feline ancestors, they were the same shade of wet mud, somewhere midway between brown and orange. 

“Tell me about him, Jer! Was he cute? Was he fluffy? Oh, please tell me!”

Her smile infectiously spread to my own face. “Well, 'he' came at twilight. Right up to my rig, actually.”

“You didn’t try to kill him, did you?” she asked, withdrawing from the tight embrace and seating herself at a rickety old table. This was always a difficult topic of conversation; I shared her love of animals, but I also loved to eat, and, you know, live. The difference with Belle is that she’d eat every leaf in Marokaw Jungle before letting a creature come to harm by her own hand.

“I didn’t kill him,” I said, answering a slightly different question to the one she asked. Thankfully she didn’t press the matter.

“Twilight,” she repeated, eyes alive with wonder. “That means the legends are true!”

“That legend is true, maybe,” I said, also taking a seat. A tantalising, sugary smell reached my nose, beckoning. My stomach had lost the will to growl, but I certainly felt it stir. My keen sense of smell guided my eyes to the source; a battered pot overboiling on our makeshift stove, spattering a yellowish substance over the rim.

“Wake up, Belle,” I said, nodding to the growing mess.

“Oh!” she exclaimed, jumping to her feet. She bounced towards the stove, floor planks creaking beneath her, and pulled the pot away from the heat.

I sniffed the air again, unable to differentiate the aromas. There was the sweet, thick fragrance of colos syrup, and something else. The something else was what worried me. Her cooking was always, let’s say, experimental. Marokaw Jungle offered a wide range of ingredients but not many were fit for consumption; Belle had given me enough experience to attest to that. My mind flashed back to the broth she promised would “pick me right up” but instead put me into a coma for three days.

“What are you making?” I asked tentatively.

“Well, I’m not quite sure what to call it yet,” she said, stirring it slowly with a stripped colos branch. I briefly wondered what she had done with the bark. “Could really do with some zazz. Hey! Did you bring anything back from the forage?”

I shuddered, a wave of guilt wrapping around my stomach like a golex vine. She must have sensed my change of mood, because she immediately set the pot on the table with a clunk and started rubbing my back.

“Don’t look like that, Jer,” she said, voice soft.

“Like what?”

“Like that.” She lifted my head with a finger hooked under my chin.

“I can’t help it. It’s getting harder out there.” I let out a slow, defeated exhale. “We have nothing, Belle.”

“Don’t say that,” she whimpered, tears welling in her eyes. “That’s what father would say to mother when he returned from a forage, and she hated it, hated seeing the guilty look on his face—”

“Well, I know how father must have felt, coming back to his family with less food than he left with.”

“Yeah, well I know how mother felt,” she shot back at me. “She never cared if he came back without food, Jer. She just cared he came back.”

It was my turn to pull her into a tight embrace. We must have stayed like that for a while, because by the time she pulled away and served dinner, it was cool enough to slurp in one giant gulp. 

She called it her ‘secret soup’. It tasted sweet going in, but had an earthy aftertaste that reminded me how our treehome smelled when it rained.

It didn’t put me into a coma. Though, it didn’t quite satisfy my hunger, either.

Comments & reviews · 2
Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.

User avatar
Mea
Review
Mea wrote a review · Sun Jul 29, 2018 8:55 pm

Hey Zoom! I'm back again. :)

I think this might be my favorite chapter so far. Again, it's smooth and easy to read with an engaging style, and I really like Belle! I like getting to see Jeremy interact with her, and plus she's just innocent and sweet.

My keen sense of smell guided my eyes to the source; a battered pot overboiling on our makeshift stove, spattering a yellowish substance over the rim.

The first part of the sentence just came off weirdly to me, almost like boasting, though I know you probably didn't intend it to sound like that. It just that even though his sense of smell is keen compared to a human's, it's normal to him, and so he wouldn't often specifically think of it as being especially good unless he's a bit egotistical.

"Yeah, well I know how mother felt,” she shot back at me. “She never cared if he came back without food, Jer. She just cared he came back."

Awwwwwww. I really liked this part. Like, a lot. It's just so sweet, and the worries on both sides feel natural. I do think at the very start of this part, when Belle asks if he brought anything back, his reaction doesn't quite fit the feeling of shame? I would have thought shuddering like that indicates horror, and for shame he'd turn away and drop his head, or not respond.

I agree with Blue about Belle being a little too careless with her ingredients. You'd think she'd have just as keen a sense of smell as Jeremy's, and not being careful with what you eat out in the wild is a really great way to die of food poisoning or disease or parasites in a long, drawn-out, and agonizing death. That doesn't mean she has to know everything or can't experiment, but she probably shouldn't be utterly clueless, either.

And I think that's all I've got for this part! I hope we get to find out the connection between the two story threads soon, since we're already in chapter 4. I'll be back to review chapter 5 at some point! Keep writing. :)

User avatar
BluesClues
Review

It's sort of funny that feline creatures would forage instead of hunt, isn't it? Although I guess if Belle won't eat meat, that limits your options.

(But you'd think, if they're basically starving, she wouldn't be so picky.)

And then Jer actually did go hunting, even though they call it a forage, so I'm probably just being pedantic.

But also, how does Belle not have an instinct or smell for dangerous ingredients? Too human, indeed. You'd think the cat bits would help somehow.

ANYWAY.

I don't really feel like I know Jer or Belle well enough yet to comment on as much as I did in that Scarlett chapter. But I did realize after thinking about it for a while that you're missing stakes. Four chapters in - okay, two with this particular narrator - and I don't know yet why I should care about these characters' struggles. Right now Jer and Belle's struggle is a generic "we don't know where our next meal is coming from," except that they're cat people.

(It doesn't seem like they use money, anyway, more just that they kind of suck at hunting and foraging. Or in Belle's case, at cooking.)

I don't know what they want or why or how they plan to get it. I don't know why I should care.

Also, considering Scarlett is, as you mentioned, in England, and Jeremy's in a jungle, I have a hard time seeing how these two stories are going to come together. I can only assume Scarlett's insane running eventually brings her to the jungle somehow.

(Can she run on water? That would be cool.)



She conquered her demons and wore her scars like wings.
— Atticus