Sewers run red with blood.
Un-speakable evil’s walk the street.
In search of fresh meat.
Coated from head to toe in dry mud.
Escaping there graves in the dead of night.
Soul-less eyes and missing limbs.
Always on the hunt for there next victims.
Filling children’s dreams with fright.
Hungry eyes staring out of the shadows.
At a world they do not belong in.
Blood trickling down there chin.
Near by sit ever watchful crows.
Waiting for the carnage to begin
And the zombies to win.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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125,006 Literary Works • 672,813 Reviews
I agree, it's almost completely imagery. It's good in that sense. More substance would be nice, though.. More meaning and content.
Hmm. Great imagery. But I didn't know what you were getting at here. I didn't know what you wanted to say. A zombie massacre? It's unclear.
But one thing is certain: GRAMMAR AND SPELLING! You're a writer, it's time to learn it! It makes a world of difference and it really is one of the most basic rules of writing. Without proper grammar, form, spelling, and word choice, even Shakespeare would be rubbish. Seriously. SO:
You've got great imagery! Now you need a story, a message, a FOCUS to your poem. It can't be all pictures
With work, this could get a lot better. Hope I've helped.
Right now, this is playing out like a bad Resident Evil game. I don't know what you were trying to accomplish by subjecting these lines to the most cliched sayings of all time - "Run red with blood", "unspeakable evil", "fresh meat" - but it sounds unconvincing. Utterly unconvincing.
This might have been a decent section except for the fact that it's vague, stagnant, and seems to be devoid of all lyrical language. The only good line I found here was the "soulless eyes and missing limbs" one, because that projected an image into my mind. The rest sounded like a collection of filler words thrown in for good measure just to make the poem larger. Okay, so the undead kill people. Is that it? You spent this many lines showing us something this inconsequential? At least put in some sort of message here instead of textbook description.
What? What just happened? You didn't let us know about anything, literally anything except for a hint that there's a massacre going on by zombies upon humans. Apart from how cliched this subject is to the point of comedy, you didn't expand upon it at all. I highly advise you to include some lines about why they are here in the first place and most importantly, what's going on. The setting is incomplete and you need to fill in the holes in order for the reader even to take this seriously.