Most hearts are red
But mine is blue
Probably cause, it misses you.
That halo on your head
Must have been plastic
And those white wings on your back
Looked kinda elastic
And for the heart you must lack
I guess you thought you'd steal mine.
And leave my chest with a vacancy sign.
You left the next day
Without delay
Leaving my heart blue
And thinking of you.
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141,440 Literary Works • 674,431 Reviews
Overall I thought you did an "okay" job, but the rhyming was sporadic and all over the place. It lacked consistency.
This was one main problem within the poem, the comma is completely unnecessary and makes the line very awkward. I also find the rhyming of "blue" and "you" cliche and too predictable.
I wasn't a big fan of your rhyming here, it's like you were rhyming for the sake of rhyming, and I don't know how much this stanza in particular contributed to the poem. Also, "Looked kinda elastic" is really more of a conversational phrase, not refined at all.
The first line again, seemed like you were just rhyming for the sake of rhyming, and the second line I think doesn't help the poem at all on top of being awkward rhythmically.
I wouldn't suggest using a ABB rhyme pattern for this stanza in particular. I think rhyming with "sign" would help flow loads more.
I liked this last line actually, it seemed to help tie it together a bit. Even though I dislike the rhyme.
Happy Editing
Very good!!! I'll put in some punctuation and rhythm problems.