Published January 26, 2006
This was a colaboration between me and CL. Hope you enjoy it
You fell in my hands,
flailing, praying
lips morphed with mine
beckoning for passion.
your flashing eyes,
floating hair,
the tip-touch of red and pink,
fantasies in the mind.
pushed deep in the bed,
honey and love hath fed,
and you drunk the milk, the
paradise of me.
as the night bid rest
you exploded like
a dying star inside me.
triggered by strangled flesh
I screamed you name.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,552 Literary Works • 673,424 Reviews
Thx for the lovely comments everyone.
Ditto what timjim said. Also:
I think the period is misplaced. It gives a much better picture without it, since the sentences blend so well together. And no comma where the period should be either!
Your name.
Beautiful.
I dig, feels goodlio.
beautiful imagery. it was short but perfect - the title, was an eye catcher, and the poem itself was very good.
my favorite parts:
i believe that this is a beautiful topic of poetry to pursue, espicially since it takes body and mind and has very strong emotions tied into it.
Obviously its suggestive, but content aside, it's pretty good.