Published August 15, 2011
Just One Second
The moon is half full.
Around us, the streetlights wear a halo of grime.
Ahead, an old friend waits for us.
But right here,
Right now,
There is only us.
We’re awkward,
But it’s not an awkward moment.
We’re cold,
But our hearts burn.
“Sorry,” you whisper.
But you don’t need to be sorry.
“I’m fucked up,” you say.
But you’re perfect to me.
“I’m a wreck,” you explain.
But, if that’s true:
Broken, you are still more wonderful
Than any unbroken girl.
I want to say
I’ve never felt this way before.
But that’s a lie.
Every time I’ve seen you
I’ve felt this way.
But never so strongly as now.
We pull apart.
“Sorry,” you whisper.
This time it’s my turn to hold you close.
You don’t ever need to be sorry to me.
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138,384 Literary Works • 672,113 Reviews
Harro, again ^-^
Does the narrator really exist, and where does he live? O.o I wanna kiddnap him XD
Haha jk jk jk
I LOVED this! XD I lov how every time she says something, he counters it. It was absolutely, completely, and definitely awesome. For me, I love writing like this. It was beautiful.
And like I said, I really liked him. He's lovable XD
I was kinda wondering, though, like Deanie, who was the old firend? Or was it not really a person? Did it stand or something? Represent something?
I love the feel of your writing, post more <3
Charade--- <3
This poem was really good. I liked how whenever she says something the guy disagrees. I don't get the thing about an old friend waiting, could you explain?
I think this poem is really good but I also don't get how it relates to the title??? Maybe you need to reconsider that or maybe its just me not getting something very obvious, (as usual). But if its me could you also explain?
Okay and now the things that I like. Well... everything! It all flows well (except what the previous commentator commented on). It really is a sweet beautiful poem.
Good job and keep writing!
Hi there!
This was a good poem. I enjoyed reading it. Your grammer and spelling are good so no worries there. It flows well and the flow only falters once:
These two lines are long when all the other ones are short.
This doesn't have a rhyme scheme (which not every poem needs), but you ended up rhyming two lines:
If you're not going to make a poem rhyme it's important for you to not have any lines rhyme at all.
Overall this is a great poem. Keep writing!