Pain Come Softly

Pain Come Softly

Believe me like you did before the rain,
like when with Night we sang the hymn of lost
travail. Empirical intents attain
the whims of times and bridges we have crossed.

Engulf me in your heaving soul, to show
that love is thrown between both Heav’n and Hell.
Those days that crawl like moons across the snow
will gaze upon the arms of Life’s farewell.

O pain, O pain, come softly on the day,
and move your whims with pulsing, light concern,
and sing to Peace’s throaty, husky bay
that thunder comes at daylight’s black return.

When finally sentries hear the warrior’s cry,
you seize me and together we will fly.

Comments & reviews · 3
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User avatar
niteowl
Review
niteowl wrote a review · Wed Mar 29, 2006 1:29 pm

I liked it, but I didn't like the line breaks in the first stanza. IMO, you should never put a period in the middle of a line. Seems like someone was forcing a rhyme...but other than that, the rhyming was barely there.

Engulf me in your heaving soul, to show
that love is thrown between both Heav’n and Hell.
Those days that crawl like moons across the snow
will gaze upon the arms of Life’s farewell


I liked this stanza. :thumb:

Random avatar
beachchick88 Comment

You have a good sense of imagery... i especially liked:
your whims with pulsing, light concern,
and sing to Peace’s throaty, husky bay
that thunder comes at daylight’s black return

Overall, very unique. Good job!

User avatar
Shimmer
Comment

Great work. I love the words you chose..this is wonderful.



Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside a dog, it's too dark to read.
— Groucho Marx