Hell is a Place
Hell is an over-and-under place;
it is fueled with the souls of pilgrims
and the tongues of shepherds. The raven
crows at twilight for broken water,
broken ships, and a man with a sword,
prone and bleeding.
Hell overflows with pirates
and baristas and banana-growers.
We who sing to the stairs of Hell
throw ourselves time and time again
against the wall of lost men
and across the floor of broken women.
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Canary word: Present
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
i personally really enjoyed this. it was short without being abrupt to me, but it was still short enough to be slightly mysterious, and i loved the image it created and the unusual word choice you used. i think you did very good and i applaud. i like this a lot.
This seems unfinished, almost as if you were starting an idea here and never completed the point. The poem, as a whole, has beautiful imagery, but that's a usual with you. I enjoy poetry much more with a direct point, a feeling, an expression or theme. I know you can incorporate this, so why don't you try this with this poem. It's definitely worth expanding upon.