E - Everyone

Butterfly Dark

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        Darkness covered the surface, as the fog erupted from cracks in the ground. The creatures of hell ran free, breaking the spirits of the people who cowered in caves and what used to be buildings. The people who still walked the plains were thieves, killers, criminals. Purity and love were no longer attributes of humanity, and hope was a work of fiction. Amidst the darkness, one light shown brightly, mapping out what used to be Las Vegas. 

     Shadows followed the light, skittering along the jagged ground, reaching up to devour it. The shadows longed for one thing, total darkness, a blackout that would consume existence and destroy the last signs of life. Dark, clawed hands stretched out, ready to kill the light, kill the last hope.

     "Aaahhh!" A small voice yelled out, a silver blade striking the shadows, delivering a flash of light as metal hit darkness. The shadows let out a low growl, creeping back into the ground. 

    "It's ok, the shadows are gone now." 

   The light flew around a small figure, and landed on its arm, showing the figures face. 

    "It's ok little butterfly." She said, blood seeping from a deep cut on her face. Elia was a rare breed in the world of hate, purity ran through her veins and chaos had not broken the young orphan. The butterfly had raised her since age six, and she now protected the small light. 

    "We have to move, the sun is setting, and the shadows are raging tonight" 

   The butterfly sat on her hand, and spoke to her mind, emitting messages to the girl.

   

     Elia looked at the butterfly, then let it fly around her. She grabbed her blade with her right hand, and held it high. Light rose the edges, and power ran down to the hand gaurd.

     She ran, with the light behind her, heading towards the ruins of the city. Buildings lay on there sides, and decayed bodies scattered the ground. Everywhere she went, each new city, it was all the same. Death, hopeless, pain. She knew the world couldn't get any worse, but she also knew there was a small chance of it getting better.

     She knew this was no kids story, but there would be no magical sword, no special item, no time reversing redo. Hell had seeped into earth, and heavens gates were shut tightly. The sun had long since gone red, with a dreary light during the day, and at night the shadows roamed free. Small spirits of light walked the earth, but father had told her stories as a young girl, the stories of contractors to the light, who had been killed off years before she was born.

      Silence haunted every step as she grew closer to the city entrance, looking hastily for a place she could make home for the night, as she was a long way from her last underground cavern. She was scared, but she held tight to her blade, this wasn't her first night out alone. Every night she was alone, alone with the small light, and every night she feared for her life.

    "We can do this, we have to know for sure, the city is a scary place, but we have to know." Elia panted, keeping up pace, knowing her reasoning for entering Las Vegas would be found upon first red light. The only reason anyone came to this city anymore, the center of the ruins, thats what she was after.

     In the distance, she heard a single sound break the silence that followed, it was a dark, repeating voice. 

     "The end of your life is near, neal before the hell spawn in fear. You can tell me what's the matter, before I turn you to blood splatter." 

    The voice repeated the lines, over and over, seeming to come from all directions. Elia knew the source, but not the location. It was the taunt of a Lunger, a dark demon of illusion. No one knew what they truly looked like, for if you got close enough to see thier true nature, thier true body, you were already torn apart.

    Elia had heard them before, but she always retreated, always got away. This time, turning back wasn't an option.

     

     Elia nodded, and let the light pass her, steadying her blade to the front, watching as the light grew slightly brighter, showing her the illusions of the Lunger. 

      Spiders with metal legs stood crouched, ready to attack, but they never moved, never blinked an eye, never even breathed. She slowed her own breath, and walked past, her eyes never leaving the light. Ahead, demonic creatures blocked the path, but the light went through them, and so did Elia, never missing a breath, never blinking. The blade held ever still, ready to face the true Lunger, ready to kill, or lose her life fighting to reach her goal. 

     " Darkness awaits those who follow, give in to your fear so hollow. Come down the rabbit hole my friend and you just might come out the other side dead."

     The Lunger taunted her again, trying to break her focus on the light, but the butterfly continued to shine brighter, turning the illusions into mere static, to the point where Elia couldn't make out what they were supposed to be.

     "Your looking for a foe to kill, turn around don't test your own skill..."

    This time, the taunt seemed to be more a worried threat then a taunt, and filled Elia with a rush of hope. Lungers were never known to have fear, but this one seemed less of a threat then she had been taught. 

   

   The voice of the butterfly snapped her back into full focus, and she continued to follow, getting closer to the spot where the Lunger was waiting. 

    Ahead of her, she saw a figure. One not distorted by the light, a solid, shallow breathing figure. It had its  hands to it's head, as if heavily concentrating. 

    "Turn back, please, turn back." 

   A small voice whispered, broken, and soft, and for a moment, Elia felt pitty, but she turned it into strength. 

    "A Lunger begging a lowly human to run away, how pathetic." The young girl spoke, as the light stopped and rose above the chosen battle field. A fire awoke inside her, the same fire that always fueled her battles, fueled her fighting instincts.

   "Look me in the eyes demon, and face me."

   The Lunger shuddered, and slowly turned it's head towards her. The sight made Elia gasp. 

   It appeared to be human, a young boy around her own age. Blood was pouring from his eyes and he seemed to be frozen in fear. The world started to spin around her, as if trapped in another illusion, but the butterfly assured her this was real.

    "So the stories are true, I was weak and a human found me, this is how I will die. The elders warned me, they told me if I wasn't strong enough, humans would kill me. Your all blood thirsty killers. Just do it..."

The boy spoke, looking Elia straight in the eyes. She froze, her blade still held tight in attack position, her breathing steady and soft. She couldn't believe what she was hearing, but at the same time she understood. Her kind had become monsters among demons and darkness. Despite her thoughts, she pushed away doubt and focused her energy.

"You Lungers are the killers, luring in children, elderly, even strong minded adults. All you do is decieve and kill. I've been told the stories as a child, and I've seen what your kind does."

The boy stood, showing his features. His hair was more fur like, and his skin was covered in flesh colored scales. Blood dripped from his eyes, and his hands shook in fear.

"Your wrong, but there's no reasoning with a human. Just do it, end this."

His eyes closed, and Elia hesitated. She felt pity, a pity that she couldn't shake. The light still hovered above them, shining brightly. Elia looked down, ready to walk away, when the ground began to crawl with shadows, dark sinister limbs that started to reach upwards towards her and the boy.

"Get back!" Elia shouted, rushing to a stance infront of the boy, her back facing him. She narrowed her eyes, and launched her attack.

The blade moved as if on it's own will, slashing quickly, striking accurately, never missing it's mark.

"Kyah!" She yelled, her left foot moving forward as her right one planted at an angle, her blade arm striking low at the center of the shadows. Light sparked and crackled, causing pain to the shadows.

There was no end, and Elia wasn't sure why she was protecting the boy, but her mind was set to do so.

Comments & reviews · 4
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User avatar
AriesBookworm
Review

Children's imagination can bring light to the darkness. Just like the butterfly was light to Elia. Elia was able to live through the darkness of the world and become the light. Her instant told her what was right and what was wrong. Even at the end of the world, Elia was able to have hope. Even when all hope was lost. In the end, Elia remained the light in the world, no matter what evils crossed her path. Most people wouldn't be able to remain that way. But Elia did. No matter what obstacles were thrown in her path, she remained a light, a hope, and a hero.

User avatar
Purple67
Review

Hello there Zanrill! I'm here to give a review on this piece of work. I hope you enjoy it!

First of all, the worldbuilding. It's pretty interesting how you describe the setting, it feels eerie, which is what i think you were going for. It's pretty cool.

Here's some other things...
- It has a very interesting plot for just a short piece of work.
- I enjoyed the characters, but i wished there was more character development.
- I like you writing style, it's nice.

That's all i could do, overall it's a good story. Hope to see more!

Sincerely, Purple67

I'm trying to leave Elia as vague as I can until a later chapter, just cause I feel it will fit, but I'm also considering a rewrite overhaul with other suggestions I've been given here and from friend

User avatar
MissGangamash
Review

Happy Review Day!

Okay, a couple spelling mistakes

'Shown' = Shone
Your = you're (you are= you're)
Gaurd = guard
Pitty = pity

Okay, onto the story. Is the first chapter a flashback to when this apocalyptic event happened? If so, make it a bit clearer. It all sort of mixes together and reads rather confusing.

When she is screaming, you don't have to use dialogue if it is just a sound. You can just say 'she shouted, or a battle cry erupted from her' or something like that. Using dialogue in those moments makes it sound childish.

It seems odd to mention that this story isn't a kids story and that there is no magical sword, when just a few sentences ago, you mentioned her blade having light at the edges - to me that read like it was some sort of special blade? If that's not the case, some clarity would be best.

Overall, I like the idea of a butterfly protecting her. And I really like the title, it's what drew me in. I also like that this takes place in what remains of Las Vegas, because I've always considered it quite a weird, otherworldly place.

For a first chapter, a lot is happening. Because you have created this whole different, post apocalyptic world for this story to take place in, I would suggest having the first chapter solely dedicated on laying the foundation of this world so that the reader can be fully immersed in it. Because, for just a couple of pages you have already introduced, the protagonist, her butterfly helper, the Lunger, the shadows (which are different?) and a weird scaly boy. That's a lot for a reader to get their head around in one go.

Anyway, hope this helps. Have fun writing your story!

I am trying to respond in a way that doesn't make me sound angry or something, because you know internet can't show emotion ok so that being said please realize my reply is not angry one

I know about some of the spelling errors, I am trying to catch them all but often miss some.

There is no flashbacks in this part, so I will relook and see if I can see what your talking about.

The shadows Reapers and Lungers are all very different things


And I will look into the rest of what you said, but as of now the way I'm seeing it great, so I will have to step back and take other looks at it some time later



He looks like a turtle who's been through the Vietnam war.
— SirenCymbaline the Kiwi