Turn to God. Turn to us

Hey there, Autumns here to review.

Let's start with a brief overview and then move on to some suggestions and nitpicks that I would like to make.

From what I can infer from my understanding of it, you've written this article as a wake-up call to the youth. You call for peace, understanding and criticize those who use religion to forward their own personal agendas.

What this article lacks, though, is a central theme, a binding idea. It starts with commentary on technological advances and the Internet age, moves on to violence and hatred in the name of religion, then talks about the potential for change in the hands of teenagers and youth, then quotes a couple of lyrics and ends with an introspective question. As I said, no binding idea!

It seemed to me as a collection of scattered paragraphs, that although on their own, make sense but don't fit with each other cohesively as a single unit. I suggest you consider that if you want to edit it.

Keep writing!

Love,
Au.

Hello! Waffle here for a quick review.

I am not entirely sure if you need to be THAT caucious with the material you are working with, and like you said, we need to stand up and be real here!
However, you can just go through and edit this and add in certain warnings that indicate this is not for all readers.
I liked you message about God. I agree with you on so many angles here with what you said and I appreciate this work.

If we could all just wake up and realize that all this crap going on in the world is not nessasary!!!
Sure this may offend some readers, but I have seen something on here about how the writer was gay, and that is offensive to the overly confident and standing up for what they believe.
Take into account, everyone who is reading this, that we're supposed to all be able to have an opinion and be proud to say it. But, with expressing your opinion freely there is a price to pay; listening to other people try and tell you otherwise.

Anyways, I thought nothing bad of this work and loved reading this! I am not encouraging you to post more on the subject though, because what you said is said and done and the internet is crazy and people are willing to rip things apart and call bull on everything they read that's a little outta line.

Thank you for reading this to the very end.
Waffle~

Hello novice! Welcome to the site and hopefully you're comfortable here..
So, you've given me an awesome review and I think I should try writing one for you too!

Interesting subject you have got here. World issues and all. First let me tell you what I liked about your article. You've got energy here. Positivity. You've called for unity and said we youngsters are hope, we're future. We need to wake up. Great! I loved those and appreciate you saying that.
Now, you could've been little more careful when you decided talking about issues like Homosexuality. In that line where you've talked about that, don't you think that was offensive? Not necessarily they're going straight to hell. That's disrespectful! I mean, you see, it's a sensitive issue, not this that i'm asking you not to talk about it but if your writing (No matter how right it seems to you) offends your readers a great deal, you better be more careful about that. Yes, you should write about your thoughts but when your writing is viewed by many then it's wise to take care of certain issues.

Now, it'd be great if you could add more about the doings of the terrorist groups and all the attacks. That'd help your readers to understand your point more nicely. I liked, in fact really liked that you questioned that how many of us really care about what's going on when it's high time we cared! Nice ending with the reference of a song. Overall, great! But, like I said, try to be more diplomatic!

Have a great day! x c: