Changing the Look (Intro and Characters)

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm Knight Hardy here on a mission to ensure that all works on YWS has at least two reviews. You will probably never see this but....Imma do this anyway.

Anyway let's get right to it,

Riohach: 17 year old female. She wears a scarf around her neck and is incapable of sleeping nor reading human emotions, so the others refer to her as the leader. Riohach wears a long camouflage dress and combat boots, along with a long lavender scarf around her neck. Her short hair is maroon-colored and her bangs cover one eye.

Soeki: A 19 year old male. Soeki is a very lax being, he was only put in the war due to his ability to calm down terrified soldiers. He wears his scarf tied in his hair. The man wears a long dark brown coat, and his hair is very shaggy and blonde.

Ulari: She's a 16 year old with a bubbly personality, which just puts other people on edge. Her scarf is very long and wavy, and nearly everything she wears is bright pink. Riohach is terrified to give Ulari a gun, while Soeki loves to play with her. People say she makes the war a bit less depressing.

OKay, that's an interesting trio of characters that you've got right there. Uhh, well taking a bit of a look at them, I'd say you certainly have their descriptions down pretty good, but beyond that, there seems to be a slight lack of detail in their personalities. It seems like these characters are destined to be one dimensional solely cause you've built them up on one character trait here, you might want to try and a few more things to make these people a bit more unique here...but its a good start here.

One day a raccoon got into a military base, and somehow sent a signal to a bomber. It dropped a bomb on France, who immediately responded with alerting the surrounding countries that Russia was looking for trouble. Switzerland immediately gathers its armies and such and puts a man named Gricken in charge. He's a huge politics smarty, and will rarely turn down an invitation for debate. France responded by getting their people together and shoving a humanized lion into first line. Shugi is a bombs expert, drug dealer and scientist, and he gets spontaneos ideas that usually just "blows up" in his face. (Get it? hehe.)

OKay...first of all, the first line here sounds like the start of a really bad joke....but that aside...its an interesting start, we have what looks to be the starting point of a long potentially world war here....annd well, while it looks like you're hinting at a bit of humor here and there, it looks like its set to be a pretty serious story here with all sorts of war involved in things.

Russia heard about the others getting ready to attack, stumbled about and gathered the army, a little kitty taking charge. Think they've lost their mind? Lilly the small cat has a thirst for violence and the empathy of a 4 year old. She'll cause murder and destruction without a second thought.

About the scarves: The general mentioned before, Lilly, is also a great lover for scarves. She ordered the soldiers to wear one, and they agreed (Thinking it was for the weather.)

These last two point here seem designed to be hilarious and make things seem a lot lighter than they are which will be a very interesting angle to explore a war story like this in....so this should be quite intriguing going forward. The last bit though, is very, very random and doesn't seem to connect to the rest of things, so you may want to reconsider that.

Overall, this seems like it could be a pretty cool story if done well here. I'd certainly read it.

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry