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Young Writers Society


18+ Language Mature Content

May 23

by YoursTruly


Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for language and mature content.

Dear Friend,

It is currently 8:51 PM on May 23, 2020. I just had to get this out. Panties, granny ones for the matter, and a white shirt I use for painting. The shirt is one size too big but definitely not loose by any means. Shows my stomach but loose up top. I went downstairs to put the family dog in my little brother's room because that is where he slept. My parents' room was right across. The door was wide open and they were both awake. I noticed my father was on his phone, and before I cross the hallway to open the door, I pull down my shirt past my granny panties to cover them. Put the dog away in the room, turn around, and my fathers yells, " YO!" First of all, the way he addressed me, whatever. I respond, "What?" His answer, "Come here." I notice my father was rubbing himself like a girl would, but not a girl would since he has a penis. I felt disgusted.

Sincerely,

Yours Truly

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455 Reviews

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Sun May 24, 2020 3:56 pm
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Hijinks wrote a review...



Hello YoursTruly. As @PlainandSimple said, I'm not sure if this happened to you, but from the way it's written, it sounds like a personal experience? If it is, that's horrible and I'm really sorry that your dad is behaving in that way. If you ever need to talk, I'm willing to listen.

Also, since you're quite new here, welcome to YWS! If you have any questions about the site you are more than welcome to ask!

And finally, if you're actually interested in a review, I've spoilered one below. If you just needed to vent about this that is totally understandable and there's no need to read the review.

Spoiler! :

Just a couple of small nitpicks...
Panties, granny ones for the matter, and a white shirt I use for painting.

Technically this isn't a sentence, since it doesn't really have a subject and action. To make it a sentence, you could say
I was wearing panties, granny ones for the matter, and a white shirt I use for painting.


Also, the tense switches partway through the narrative. It starts out describing what happened in past tense, then moves into present tense.

I noticed my father was on his phone, and before I cross the hallway to open the door, I pull down my shirt past my granny panties to cover them. Put the dog away in the room, turn around, and my fathers yells, " YO!" First of all, the way he addressed me, whatever. I respond, "What?" His answer, "Come here." I notice my father was rubbing himself like a girl would, but not a girl would since he has a penis.


The bolded words are verbs in present tense that should be in past tense. I hope that makes sense.


Again, if you just needed to vent, please just ignore the spoiler. My PMs are open if you need to talk or rant. I hope things improve for you.

whatchamacallit




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39 Reviews

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Sun May 24, 2020 7:33 am
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sulagna says...



Heyyy I agree with Plainandsimple.
What are you writing about??




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54 Reviews

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Sun May 24, 2020 2:22 am
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PlainandSimple wrote a review...



Hey,

When I first read the title, I didn't expect much of anything (as in, I didn't expect what I read). I don't know if this is just a random thing, or it really just happened.

All I have to say is, that if it's real. And that really did just happen, that's awful. How could a father show such things in that way? I'm disturbed more than anything at the moment. I'm always here to talk, if you need to rant. Or need help with advice. My PMs are literally always open.

from your friend,
@PlainandSimple





[as a roleplayer is feeling sad about torturing her characters] GrandWild: "You're a writer, dear. Embrace it."
— GrandWild