Young Writers Society


Violence

The Unbearable Weight of Social Norms

by YesChef


I vividly remember the day her murder was broadcast live on television. It was truly tragic. Who on earth could do such a thing to someone so young?

I was overcome with horror as the case's specifics were made public.

How could a person do something like that?

Kidnap her.

Torture her.

Throw her body in the river.

My stomach filled with electricity. I've always felt strangely drawn to murder, for reasons I can't comprehend. When I try to discuss it with others, they look at me like I've grown three heads.

I don't find it offensive. They are foolish. They are unwilling to accept ideas that are different from their own.

They’re crazy.

What makes people “crazy”? Who decided what constitutes insanity and what qualifies as normal behavior, after all?

To answer my first question, I'd like to think “insanity” is preordained. Our consciousness determines whether or not we will belong to the laborious working class before we are born. Some are chosen to be "special," while others are doomed to rot in a cubicle.

To answer my second question, society is credited with starting the fad. This modified notion of happiness has been ingrained in the impressionable minds of people. It's a social norm to seek the simplest solution. I don't adhere to this rule.

Who established society's positions on various issues? Why, when there are much better alternatives, is it socially acceptable to waste your life away as a working class person? Why can’t we all be special? Why do some of us long for a life filled with drab white walls and mundane people?

It must be a natural human instinct. I suppose that others desire a life of boredom in much the same way that I desire a life of danger.

Crazy.

They are the ones who are truly insane.

My chuckle was barely audible over the piercing blare of the television. The noisy television is a frequent source of complaints. My neighbors threaten to call the cops if I continue.

Please, what are the police going to do? Arrest me?

They don't do much to help this desolate city. They are unaware that the loner who spends his days by himself, watching a loud television in a dark room, is responsible for the brutal murders of ten people.

Stupid.

Stupid.

Stupid.

I'll ask it again: How could a person do something like that?

Well, to that inquiry, I have a definite answer.

No, I'm not crazy; that is not the reason. Does leading an extreme lifestyle really qualify someone as crazy? Is loving the sensation of my heart pounding in my ears crazy? Is it crazy to look at myself, covered in blood, and smile? Is it crazy that I enjoy my way of life?

No, being crazy is not the answer to why I did it. The only way to end the world's boredom is to go crazy.

I did it because I am completely and utterly normal.


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105 Reviews


Points: 262
Reviews: 105

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Sat Dec 17, 2022 7:12 am
DreamyAlice wrote a review...



Hey chef, Alice here to give a review!

MY THOUGHTS

Your insight on a serial killer's mind was fantastic. It's a very intriguing thing to write about and you did a good job. Your word choice was also nice and it was a great read!

TINY- MINY NITPICKS

I vividly remember the day her murder was broadcast live on television.


broadcast will be broadcasted

They are foolish. They are unwilling to accept ideas that are different from their own.


Maybe replace the full stop after foolish with a comma this way the sentence look more structured.

SUGGESTIONS

There were some places where I thought the sentences lacked depth like

My stomach filled with electricity.


like this sentence could be modified to My stomach was tingling with electricity. or a more natural way of saying that you were surprised or shocked or scared.

There were few more places where your sentences didn't seem to naturally flow, every writer finds it difficult at first so I am sure you will get there as you are really good with words as far as I can see.

OVERALL

There were some nitpicks and suggestions I gave you, if you find it helpful than its alright otherwise simply ignore them:) And this was a very interesting read, presented in a beautiful manner. It provocated some thoughts in my head and overall it was a nice read! Keep writing and enjoy being on YWS!

Bye!




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Thu Dec 08, 2022 5:23 pm
Krystha says...



Terrific !!




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Thu Dec 08, 2022 5:22 pm
Krystha says...



Terrific !!




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Thu Dec 08, 2022 12:38 pm
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Dipro wrote a review...



An exquisite piece.The third last para especially.Gets the blood pumping.The conviction of the last line strikes a chord that is very conclusive for the overall vibe of the story.His social analysis is cocoonned around a kernel of truth that makes the rest of his deductions much more compelling on the surface.He is a killer but a curiously same one




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Thu Dec 08, 2022 8:03 am
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KateHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!! I see that you joined recently so Welcome to YWS!! Hope you enjoy you time here!

First Impression: Well this is a very intriguing little peek into what appears to be the mind of a serial killer here. Its certainly something that catches your interesting quite quickly and keeps it there pretty well. I love that it took some time to really get into and also the way you started with that tv and seemingly innocent question and then only answered that with the truly disturbing at the very end.

Anyway let's get right to it,

I vividly remember the day her murder was broadcast live on television. It was truly tragic. Who on earth could do such a thing to someone so young?

I was overcome with horror as the case's specifics were made public.

How could a person do something like that?

Kidnap her.

Torture her.

Throw her body in the river.


That does seem like the sort of thing that can get you thinking a lot and of course questioning the credibility of humanity as a species being allowed to still exist. I also detect a note of personal involvement there with the way it says specifically her murder as opposed to just a random murder, so that definitely spices things up as well. All in a strong start to proceedings with this one here.

My stomach filled with electricity. I've always felt strangely drawn to murder, for reasons I can't comprehend. When I try to discuss it with others, they look at me like I've grown three heads.

I don't find it offensive. They are foolish. They are unwilling to accept ideas that are different from their own.

They’re crazy.


Well that took a turn, from us having sympathy there at the way this person seemed to be suffering ever so slightly at seeing that murder displayed on screen we get a look at what seems to be this person very much being into murder somehow. Well that definitely was quite the twist there. I think you can consider us very much hooked at this point.

What makes people “crazy”? Who decided what constitutes insanity and what qualifies as normal behavior, after all?

To answer my first question, I'd like to think “insanity” is preordained. Our consciousness determines whether or not we will belong to the laborious working class before we are born. Some are chosen to be "special," while others are doomed to rot in a cubicle.

To answer my second question, society is credited with starting the fad. This modified notion of happiness has been ingrained in the impressionable minds of people. It's a social norm to seek the simplest solution. I don't adhere to this rule.


Okay, this is an interesting little dive into how craziness is viewed from someone who clearly has a few things a little off with them, namely about the whole dying part of things. Well well, definitely an interesting look into this person's mind here.

Who established society's positions on various issues? Why, when there are much better alternatives, is it socially acceptable to waste your life away as a working class person? Why can’t we all be special? Why do some of us long for a life filled with drab white walls and mundane people?

It must be a natural human instinct. I suppose that others desire a life of boredom in much the same way that I desire a life of danger.

Crazy.

They are the ones who are truly insane.


Okay well this is definitely an interesting opinion because you can also use it to sort of track down where exactly this manages to stem from and the kind of situation that might have actually ended up causing it in the first place. This is getting and more intriguing with each passing line here.

My chuckle was barely audible over the piercing blare of the television. The noisy television is a frequent source of complaints. My neighbors threaten to call the cops if I continue.

Please, what are the police going to do? Arrest me?

They don't do much to help this desolate city. They are unaware that the loner who spends his days by himself, watching a loud television in a dark room, is responsible for the brutal murders of ten people.


Okayy wow that is very casual there. That's probably the first time we are for sure going to know this one probably committed that murder from earlier or is appreciating the work of a fan because it is clear this person is a serial killer at this point. I love that the complete confirmation is left quite this late because it lets us come to the conclusion quite securely before it finally dumps this one us.

I'll ask it again: How could a person do something like that?

Well, to that inquiry, I have a definite answer.

No, I'm not crazy; that is not the reason. Does leading an extreme lifestyle really qualify someone as crazy? Is loving the sensation of my heart pounding in my ears crazy? Is it crazy to look at myself, covered in blood, and smile? Is it crazy that I enjoy my way of life?

No, being crazy is not the answer to why I did it. The only way to end the world's boredom is to go crazy.

I did it because I am completely and utterly normal.


Well that seems to be just about fitting as the ending of this piece. Definitely not going to exactly go ahead and question what this person is saying here because murdered is not fun. In all seriousness though, that's a pretty solid point to end this little monologue on. I love that you end with the same thing you started on, its gives it all a very interesting duality I think.

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

Overall: Overall, we've got ourselves a pretty strong piece here. I honestly couldn't find much to complain about really. Its presented quite nicely, and it makes for a pretty interesting read.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry




YesChef says...


Thanks so much for reading! I enjoyed the feedback :)



KateHardy says...


You're Welcome!!



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Wed Dec 07, 2022 10:37 pm
havengr1 wrote a review...



Evening!

This is a really really really good short story I am in love! I love how it gives us an insight into a psychopath's mind. Your wording is amazing, some of the vocabulary used is astounding.

One thing I would say is that seen as it is from someones pov, i think it would fit better to use who decides and who establishes rather than ending it in ed, that's just my personal opinion tho!

The other thing was where you used the ':' after ill ask it again. I believe that should be a full stop.

I do love this though, keep writing and I'll keep up with your work!!




YesChef says...


Ooooo! These are great suggestions! Thanks so much and thank you for reading!




Once you have people's attention, you have a greater responsibility to tell them something of value.
— Tobias Forge (Ghost B.C.)