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Young Writers Society


12+ Violence

My mental illness is not what it seems. (Part 1)

by Yerabeg


I don't know how to start this post, so I'll just dive straight in. My name is Clark. A diagnosis of schizophrenia has become a part of my life. Initially, it wasn't easy to accept, but over time, I came to terms with it as a reality. Hospitals and specialists recommended various medications to control the symptoms of this condition. Although I attempted discussions with psychologists and caregivers regarding available therapeutic options, I always received the same response: "It's for your own good." I didn't question their decisions, realizing that I lacked specialized knowledge in this field. From a logical standpoint, medication seemed like the most sensible solution for treating or alleviating the symptoms of a mental illness. Therefore, I avoided delving too deeply into the subject. I lived with this condition for a year, learning about its possible manifestations. Psychologists provided me with tips on how to cope with it on a daily basis.

I also decided to join a support group for individuals diagnosed with schizophrenia, hoping to gain valuable experiences. There, I met several people, most of whom didn't stand out much, except for my friend Toby. Our bond stemmed from the fact that we both navigated life with the same condition and had similar senses of humor. With time, I realized that many group members, including Toby, experienced schizophrenia symptoms more intensely than I did, not only emotionally but also in their daily lives, where the symptoms were more noticeable.

One Monday, after a group meeting, Toby invited me to his apartment for a chat. If only I had known the consequences, I would have thought twice before agreeing.

"Do you want?" - Toby pulled out rolling papers and a small package of marijuana.

Knowing its calming properties for people in our situation, Toby had plenty of it at home.

"No, thanks. I still have a few paperwork matters to attend to, and I'm not sure I could handle it if I smoked too" - I replied.

"Your loss" - he replied.

After half an hour of chatting about nothing, silence fell. A suffocating silence, heralding a storm.

"Listen... Ah, I forgot to bring it" - Toby said.

"What's going on?" - I asked, sensing a strange atmosphere in the room.

Toby got up, closed the window, muffling the sounds from outside.

"I'll be right back" - he said.

"Don't rush" - I replied, this time feeling worried.

As Toby left the room, I heard the door closing and his footsteps on the stairs.

"Why did you lock the door? Are you planning to murder me?" - I joked.

There was no smile on Toby's face. He sat opposite me and looked me straight in the eyes.

"Due to our condition, do you think differentiating reality from our imaginations is difficult?" - he asked.

"What do you mean?" - I replied, surprised.

"We're being deceived" - Toby stated.

He reached out with a photograph in his hand. His trembling hand held the tension of an alcoholic seeing a bottle of whisky in front of him.

The photograph showed a woman dressed in a snowy white dress, with a golden necklace around her neck. She had almost perfect makeup, and her smile radiated such warmth that I could feel it from the photo.

"Who is this?" - I asked.

"It's Emilly Gaunder. Do you know her?" - Toby asked.

"No, why would I know her? What's going on?" - I replied.

"She's dead" - he said.

"So what? Is there so much tension just to say that a stranger woman is dead?" - I replied selfishly.

After a moment of silence, Toby continued.

"I stopped taking my medication" - he confessed.

"Why?" - I asked, with a slightly raised tone. Interrupting therapy after a year and a half of systematic medication intake was dangerous for his mental health.

"I saw her" - Toby grabbed his head.

"Before her death?" - I asked, still disoriented.

"No. My medication ran out a week ago. For five days, it was hard for me to function. I saw people in my apartment, heard voices, and nightmares kept me awake, but..." - his voice trembled.

Toby looked me straight in the eyes again.

"I saw her, the same person as in the photo. I had never seen her before, but I noticed... I noticed in the news about her death in the nearby park, after I saw her in my apartment. A thief, probably trying to steal her bag, unexpectedly shot her in the chest. That's what the reports said. I swear I'm telling the truth" - Toby covered his face with his hands again.

We sat in silence for a few minutes. I tried to digest what he had told me. Initially, I thought it was a joke or a figment of his imagination, but his reaction made it hard for me not to believe him. After all, I had experienced various hallucinations myself, but I always managed to verify them. So why was Toby panicking so much?

"Clark..." - he broke the silence.

"What's up?" - I replied, still trying to understand the whole situation.

"I saw her with a gunshot wound..."


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User avatar
6 Reviews


Points: 254
Reviews: 6

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Mon Apr 01, 2024 8:00 pm
SKZ4ever wrote a review...



Woah, that is crazy. Let's jump into it.

I don't know how to start this post, so I'll just dive straight in. My name is Clark. A diagnosis of schizophrenia has become a part of my life. Initially, it wasn't easy to accept, but over time, I came to terms with it as a reality. Hospitals and specialists recommended various medications to control the symptoms of this condition.

In this section, I would have loved to have an explanation of what schizophrenia is that way I didn't have to search it up. But that's okay I still understood everything perfectly fine.

I also decided to join a support group for individuals diagnosed with schizophrenia, hoping to gain valuable experiences. There, I met several people, most of whom didn't stand out much, except for my friend Toby. Our bond stemmed from the fact that we both navigated life with the same condition and had similar senses of humour. With time, I realized that many group members, including Toby, experienced schizophrenia symptoms more intensely than I did, not only emotionally but also in their daily lives, where the symptoms were more noticeable.

Yessss that is amazing. Great thing you made a friend.

One Monday, after a group meeting, Toby invited me to his apartment for a chat. If only I had known the consequences, I would have thought twice before agreeing.

"Do you want?" - Toby pulled out rolling papers and a small package of marijuana.

Knowing its calming properties for people in our situation, Toby had plenty of it at home.

Toby put the marijuana away. Let's not be a bad influence on our friends. Good for you for saying no.

Listen... Ah, I forgot to bring it" - Toby said.

"What's going on?" - I asked, sensing a strange atmosphere in the room.

Toby got up, closed the window, muffling the sounds from outside.

"I'll be right back" - he said.

"Don't rush" - I replied, this time feeling worried.

As Toby left the room, I heard the door closing and his footsteps on the stairs.

"Why did you lock the door? Are you planning to murder me?" - I joked.

This kid has to be high...right? Toby don't you dare kill Clark.

He reached out with a photograph in his hand. His trembling hand held the tension of an alcoholic seeing a bottle of whisky in front of him.

The photograph showed a woman dressed in a snowy white dress, with a golden necklace around her neck. She had almost perfect makeup, and her smile radiated such warmth that I could feel it from the photo.

Dude is this all over a crush or something? Toby come on. What's going on?

"She's dead" - he said.

"So what? Is there so much tension just to say that a stranger woman is dead?" - I replied selfishly.

After a moment of silence, Toby continued.

"I stopped taking my medication" - he confessed.

Plot twist. That is crazy.

"Why?" - I asked, with a slightly raised tone. Interrupting therapy after a year and a half of systematic medication intake was dangerous for his mental health.

"I saw her" - Toby grabbed his head.

"Before her death?" - I asked, still disoriented.

"No. My medication ran out a week ago. For five days, it was hard for me to function. I saw people in my apartment, heard voices, and nightmares kept me awake, but..." - his voice trembled.

Toby looked me straight in the eyes again.

What is going on? Is he out of his mind?

"I saw her, the same person as in the photo. I had never seen her before, but I noticed... I noticed in the news about her death in the nearby park, after I saw her in my apartment. A thief, probably trying to steal her bag, unexpectedly shot her in the chest. That's what the reports said. I swear I'm telling the truth" - Toby covered his face with his hands again.

So he saw a dead person in his apartment with a thief trying to steal her bag? This is escalating and I love it.

We sat in silence for a few minutes. I tried to digest what he had told me. Initially, I thought it was a joke or a figment of his imagination, but his reaction made it hard for me not to believe him. After all, I had experienced various hallucinations myself, but I always managed to verify them. So why was Toby panicking so much?

I have nothing to say. This is crazy. Yes, why IS Toby panicking?

"Clark..." - he broke the silence.

"What's up?" - I replied, still trying to understand the whole situation.

"I saw her with a gunshot wound..."

Woah. What a way to end it. With a cliffhanger. At the top, it does say part one so I am guessing there is more. If there is, I can't wait to read it.

In conclusion: That was amazing. Such detail and suspense all round. Keep up the amazing work.

Have a great day/night.
Demi <33




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210 Reviews


Points: 10015
Reviews: 210

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Sat Mar 16, 2024 5:18 pm
EllieMae wrote a review...



Time for a Black Cat Review!!



MEOW! Hello, friend! My name is Ellie and today I will be reviewing using my very own Black Cat Review Method! It is very similar to the incredible YWS S'more Method but I have Halloween-ified it and made it spooky! My little black cat friend, Vladimir, wants to offer his opinion on your amazing literary piece:

Mystical Witch Hat - What I See, Observe, and Interpret

I really enjoyed reading the first part of this story. I was engaged from start to finish! We follow Clark, who has been diagnosed with schizophrenia. Clark attends a support group for others who are diagnosed with the disorder. Clark meets Today and goes back to his apartment. Today confesses that he has topped taking his medication. This has caused him to see people in his apartment, including a woman named Emily Gaunder, who is a woman in the photograph he has.

I really liked how you write this section:

After a moment of silence, Toby continued.

"I stopped taking my medication" - he confessed.

"Why?" - I asked, with a slightly raised tone. Interrupting therapy after a year and a half of systematic medication intake was dangerous for his mental health.


I love how you add commentary on to the dialogue. You do it in a way that flows so well!

Vladimir’s Advice - Suggestions for Improvement

Clark goes to Toby’s apartment, after meeting him a couple times in group.

One Monday, after a group meeting, Toby invited me to his apartment for a chat. If only I had known the consequences, I would have thought twice before agreeing.


I would love more details of what his apartment looks like! We get an amazing description of the photograph of Emily. We get a lot of feelings too! But I’d love to see the surroundings of where we are more :D

Jack O’Lanterns - My Favourite Parts and Praises

This ending of part one:

"Clark..." - he broke the silence.

"What's up?" - I replied, still trying to understand the whole situation.

"I saw her with a gunshot wound..."


This cliff hanger! I love it so much! You wrote this ending so well! I can’t wait for part two. Please tag me :)

I also loved your use of foreshadowing throughout, like when Clark reflects on how he never would have gone to Toby’s apartment if he knew what was going to happen. This engages me so much. Awesome job!

Black Cat Cuddles - Concluding Ideas and Thoughts

This was a very interesting read! I can’t wait to read more :D

Your friend,
-Ellie

I hope you have a spook-tastical day, filled with black cat mischief!





Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge!
— April, Parks & Rec