Published April 20, 2013
Thank you
Never seen the sun, been living in the dark.
Never seen the world, been blinded by the hands
Of the snake himself, choking and provoking,
A happiness embedded beyond layers of paint.
On the 31st of October was an eager encounter
Like a filter, 'twas drained, a time consuming process
Had you not kindly intruded, and grateful am I,
That like a feather wafting from the glorious sky
Gently but surely assuring that
some things are purely meant to be.
Your words and thoughts inspiring me.
There is more to life, than what meets the eye
An observation I obtained from your unique mind.
For everything is more than it appears to be
For everything there is a remedy
Including those thoughts that pierced my mind
Both gone be them and the years that went by,
The years of pain and unwillingness to survive.
You restored it to me, that snake had consumed
The will to live, but most importantly the desire to.
My problems resolved simply by
You being you.
So thank you.
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140,623 Literary Works • 673,565 Reviews
Hi YOLBYI.
I'm Sol and I'm here to review for you.
So I wasn't going to write this review, but I can't just leave this URL with things unsaid. The start of this made me tilt my head, and not exactly in a good way. Because you start with a weak/worn out/cliche line, and then -BAM!- something original with a great imagery. o.o Honestly, it would be great if you could do the same thing on that first sentence; express the main point in an original, creative way. Remember that the first line of a poem is really important because it hooks the reader and helps them get adapted to atmosphere you're bringing; it should be like a little hint of what's coming.
That's all I've got to say. *bows/saluts*
~GeeLyria
Sweet-I love it! This reminds me of the way I write, only enhanced.
This is beautiful and right up my alley. I love to see poems about subjects such as this "Light in the darkness". I love that verse, it's so poetic.
It reminds me of one of my poems, Voice For the voiceless, if you'd mind taking a read.
I really love the lines here. It is so well written and you used such fantastic imagery, metaphors, phrases and vocabulary here.
I feel like you have a talent here-this poem is a real beauty.
The only thing I thought you could improve on was the ending. It just seemed a bit bland compared to the rest of it.
Unrelated: "Glorious sky"-nicely thought out!