z

Young Writers Society


18+ Language Violence Mature Content

Z-Day: Nothing Is As It Seems ~ Chapter 3.4

by XxXTheSwordsmanXxX


Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for language, violence, and mature content.

Word Count: 2545

Driving nearly the whole day brought them to a large collection of shed-like buildings surrounded by a well lit chain-link fence. “This is pretty familiar,” Roy commented as he noticed the small groups of individuals that were marching around the installation. “This reminds me of boot camp.”

“Reminds me of a war film,” Jerry responded.

“We sure about this?” Beth asked, concerned.

“Are we sure of anything?” Roy replied. Stopping at the gate, the guards on either side waved the convoy thorough. “When we get out, make sure that the amount of weapons, ammo, and food stays hidden. I don't want these guys trying to jump us.”

Beth nodded and took Marian as Dave quickly started covering the crates of firearms in blankets and tarps. Roy brought the truck to a stop just inside the gate. Jerry and Roy stepped out and were greeted by a middle age man wearing a military vest. He gave the company a wide smile and extended his hand. “Good to see that there are still people with enough common sense to survive in these trying times. Are you hungry? We just finished with midday chow, but I'm sure that there is enough left over for you.”

“We're fine thanks,” Roy said.

“Gentlemen, I understand that you may be reluctant to do this but I must ask that you relinquish your weapons.”

“Why?” Jerry asked.

“We only allow the guards bordering the fence to have firearms. It ensures security and removes the temptation of anyone trying to use it for a hostage situation or the like.”

“If you don't mind, I think that we'll just secure them in our vehicle,” Roy said.

“As you wish. I have to say that I haven't seen one of these come through yet. Where did you get it?”

“Military base in Yuma,” Jerry said. “Unfortunately it was the only thing that we were able to find.”

“That's the world we live in now. Well, welcome to Haven. If you have any injuries you can see our field medic, Trisha.”

“Thank you for your hospitality,” Jerry replied. Setting their weapons in their vehicle. The small group gathered around the fire for bowls of stew. “I'm surprised that they managed to get enough to feed everyone here.”

“Food isn't scarce yet. When it does though, people will panic,” Roy commented. “It looks like everything is in order here. Almost like a military base.”

“Did you see how that guy was dressed?” Beth asked. “I'd bet he was military.”

“Yeah, doesn't anyone think that something is off?” Carl asked.

“What do you mean? This place is great,” Beth said.

“I don't know. Just off.” Carl rubbed the back of his neck trying to figure out what made the hairs stand on end when he looked about.

“I'm gonna have a look around the camp. See where everything is,” Jerry said walking off in the direction of several large tents. Inside there were rows of cots set up with men strapped down. A woman walked between the cots giving the wounded water and checking their bandages. “Excuse me,” Jerry called. “Are you Trisha?”

The woman stopped and turned to him. “How can I help?” she asked. Dark black hair cradled her pale visage and storm gray eyes watched him with a hint of fear.

“I was wondering if you could take a look at a cut. I don't want it to become infected,” Jerry said lifting up his shirt showing her the small cut that ran across his hip.

“How did you get it?” Trisha asked.

“I'm a little clumsy.” Jerry smiled and noted that she didn't return it. She ran her fingers over the cut and nodded standing up.

“It would appear that you have prevented an infection by keeping it covered with your shirt. I don't see any redness or swelling. Have you been feverish or had any chills?”

“No, nothing like that. Been pretty healthy, considering what's been happening. That and I only got it earlier today.”

“Then just keep an eye on it, and if you develop a fever come see me.” Trisha quickly hurried away to another patient.

I guess she doesn't like new people, Jerry thought. Stepping back out he noted where the dining pavilion, main hall, and captain's quarters. Walking up to Roy he spoke in a hushed voice. “Do you find it weird that they have their wounded close to the fence instead of in the center of the installation for protection.”

“Everyone has their reasons. They might feel that having them near the fence means that they are easier to dispose of should they die,” Roy explained. “The set up shouldn't worry you. It's the procedures that you have to give careful thought to.”

“What do you think about all of this?”

“I think that we should stay a couple of days. See how things work around here and then make a decision on whether to move on or not.”

“Excuse me gentlemen,” a rather well built man said. “We are getting together a group for a supply raid. The general wants to know if you're interested in joining us.”

“Where's it to?” Roy asked.

“There's a CDC camp a little to the East of here. We're gonna try to collect medicine and supplies for our field medic.”

Roy nodded. “Sign us up.”

“I'll go too,” Carl said waving from the truck.

“We leave at O' four hundred. Make sure that you're ready.” The soldier walked away to inform a few other people dressed in similar clothes.

“I think I see what Carl was talking about,” Roy commented.

“What are you talking about?” Jerry asked.

“How many women do you see?” Jerry looked about and couldn't place a single one. Men sat around the fire laughing a crude jokes. Men passed out food and uniforms. “I haven't seen a single woman in this camp so far.”

“Their medic is a woman,” Jerry said. “But I see what you're saying. Why do you think that is?”

“If I had to guess, they probably just haven't found many yet either because they're hidden away or dead. We should get our gear ready and try to rest. Four in the morning is really early.”

The two of them took a place with their group in the back of the truck. Jerry held Marian close to him to keep her warm on the cool night. Jerry looked from her peace-filled face to the small group that had become a family over their week of travel. “You asleep?” Beth whispered.

“Not yet,” Jerry answered in a hushed voice.

“I can't sleep.”

“Sleeping in a new place?”

“No. Nightmares.”

Jerry sighed. “I know what you mean. I don't want to sleep myself.”

“How do you do it?”

“I keep reminding myself that I'm asleep. I hold Marian to try to make me feel better.”

“I wish I had something like that.” Beth huddled with her blanket staring off into space.

That was the second time jerry had heard that. He never really thought about how everyone else was doing. Looking down to Marian's sleeping face just filled him with hope and he didn't feeling like sharing it, like it would somehow diminish if everyone got a little hope from her. Jerry sat up and gently set Marian into Beth's arms. “She has a way of making things all better,” he whispered. Beth smiled and cradled Marian close to her chest and quickly fell asleep. Jerry watched them, reminded of his family from before. He stood up feeling his bladder demand relief, and carefully stepped over the sleeping bodies that blocked his way to the truck exit. Standing by the truck he stared at the stars as he relieved himself.

“Beautiful night,” the general said, sneaking up on Jerry. Jerry quickly finished up and put everything away before turning to him. “Don't worry. Not gonna get onto you for relieving yourself. If you gotta go, you gotta go.”

“What can I do for you?”

“I'm rather curious why you haven't shared what you have in your truck with the rest of us.”

“We aren't sure if we're going to stay. We would rather not make things more difficult than it needs to be.”

The general nodded before heading toward the middle of the camp. The look on his face was obvious that he didn't like Jerry's answer. “We'll be leaving in half an hour. You should start getting ready.”

The way that the general looked over the truck made Jerry suspicious. It seemed to be an almost hungry look, like a little kid staring at his presents under a Christmas tree and trying to wait to open them. “He can be a little strange sometimes,” a feminine voice said. Jerry turned and saw Trisha standing there wrapped up in a blanket. “His requests can be odd at times but everything that he has told us to do has kept us safe.”

To Jerry, it sounded like what she was saying wasn't to explain anything to him, but to convince herself that what she was saying was true. “What kind of odd requests has he asked of you?”

Trisha shook her head. “Just be careful. I don't want to see another person turn into one of those things in front of me again.” Trisha walked off to a small tent.

Jerry noted that he could see the bare bottom of her foot as she walked away from him. In a place where rocks jutted out every few feet, it didn't seem like a smart idea. Pushing the thought away, he walked up into the truck and carefully nudged Roy's foot to wake him and Carl. The trio gathered their gear and grouped up with the rest of the company. “Alright, we're gonna do this like we always do. Three squads,” the general commanded. “Squad one will be in charge of perimeter security. Squad two will be in charge of clearing out the camp. Squad three with be in charge of gathering supplies.”

The company broke up and headed to three separate trucks. “Hey guys. I'm Dalton,” a young soldier said. “The general wants you guys with squad three. So, you'll be riding with me.”

_______________________________________________________________________

“Why would they use such a small town for a CDC place?” Jerry asked. The temporary buildings still stood in the burning weather.

“I'm guessing that they spaced them out geographically, so that people didn't have to travel far for help,” Roy answered.

“Just to give you guys a rundown of how things work,” Dalton explained. “Squad two moves through the compound removing any threats. We move in after them gathering anything and everything that might be of use. Medication, vaccines, first aid supplies, everything.”

“Seems simple enough,” Jerry commented.

“You'd be surprised how often people fuck it up,” Dalton answered before walking off.

“He's right,” Roy said. “The simplest orders often get screwed up the most.”

“I'll try to remember that,” Jerry said checking that his shotgun was loaded.

Roy and Jerry watched as the squad of ten moved through the camp. When the gun fire stopped a red flare shot up like a rocket into the air. “That's the signal boys. Let's move in.”

Moving passed the outside perimeter, Roy and Jerry split off and headed into one of the temporary chilling units. “I'll bet there are some damn good medications in here,” Roy said looking through the collection of tiny glass bottles. “Must be good. I can't pronounce any of this shit.”

Jerry chuckled as he searched a large crate for its name. Picking up a clipboard that was resting on an unopened crate, he began flipping through the pages. “This is that rabies vaccine that they were giving out,” Jerry said. He remembered the woman on the news reporting story on his small television on the counter like it was a lifetime ago.

“Why do they need ten crates of that stuff?” Roy asked.

Jerry quickly flipped through the pages. “They thought that mass producing it and giving it to the public would decrease the mass hysteria.”

“So they were hoping for a placebo effect?”

“Looks like it. From this report they were supposed to give out the vaccine for free and to say that it would make them immune to make the public feel safe.”

“A lot of fucking good it did.” Roy stormed off and started shoving the glass bottles into a bag to bring with him.

Jerry stood there a moment looking over the paperwork. “Roy,” Jerry said, his voice shaking. “What if the vaccine is the reason for what's going on?”

“What are you talking about?”

“The day of the outbreak. I remember a news story about mass murder and violence over in Africa. My wife told me that they were sending a new rabies vaccine there and making it part of routine procedure when entering and leaving the country.”

“If they did that, it would take no time at all for it spread across the globe.”

“I think the rabies vaccine is the virus. Listen to these side effects. Increases in agitation and aggression. Possibility of insomnia. In some cases confusion and delirium. Wasn't Pat seeing things before he died?”

“Yeah. That's something that can happen when your delirious.” Roy stared at Jerry in horror as the evidence slowly began to build up. “Alright, let's humor this idea for a bit. A vaccine is just a dead virus used to force the body to develop an immunity, right?” Jerry nodded as he set the clipboard down. “The symptoms for rabies are insomnia, confusion, aggression, salivation from lack of water, delirium.”

“You just described the side effects of the vaccine.”

“Hold on, I'm not done. Then compare that to the crazies. They line up pretty close. On top of that, it seems that means of transmission is through bites. Just like with rabies.”

“My God,” Jerry leaned against the nearby desk as he felt the room spinning. “How do we fight against this? Rabies is incurable.”

“No; but two percent of the world is immune to rabies.”

“So what, we just test ourselves to see if rabies affects us?”

“I think evolution takes over from here. The trait that brings about survival of the species is the one that continues. As long as the immune are kept alive there will be a chance at survival, and even without immunity the only way to be turned into one of the crazies is to be bitten. We just need to avoid it and take them out as we go.”

“Yeah, I guess.” Jerry began shoveling medicine and bandages in a bag. He paused a moment by the clipboard and, with a shake of his head, swiped the pages off of the clipboard and stuffed them into his shirt and left to regroup at the trucks.


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Sun Jul 31, 2016 3:15 pm
BrumalHunter wrote a review...



Halfway done!

This is just an observation, but the different parts of this chapter don't exactly seem to be related. First, they travel a bit, then they find a shooting range, kill some zombies en masse, and are led to what is basically a military base. I wouldn't be surprised if they end up fighting their way out of the base in the next part. I feel it could have been better if you had let more time pass between these events; in a chapter of their own, each could have been emphasised and elevated in importance, as opposed to being part of a random string of occurrences. It may sound harsh, but that's currently what it feels like.


The dialogue is now particularly flat. Concerning the quality, it's become generic, and because little to no action accompanies it, it simply becomes bland and uninteresting. It has the potential to be something one can enjoy reading, but it's not there yet. I recommend using body language to express the characters' innate emotions and attitudes. Even varying "said" with stronger verbs would already help.

The style of your writing is informal or casual, so while profanity and generally average language is acceptable and expected, words like "visage" definitely is not. This isn't the place to be verbose - the diction used in the narration must correspond with the perspective of the character on whom you are currently focussed. Jerry wouldn't use the word, so you shouldn't either. If Jerry had been a linguistics professor or an avid reader, on the other hand, it would have been fine.

I notice you rarely use pronouns. Reading Jerry in almost every paragraph becomes tedious, so when he's addressing a female character, you might want to consider replacing his name with "he". The same goes for any of the other characters you have, although obviously it would be "she" if Beth or Sue-Anne is concerned.


The use of rabies as a cause of the apocalypse is an interesting twist. I don't think it constitutes zombification, but it's definitely original.


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Wed Jun 29, 2016 3:30 pm
StarGazer wrote a review...



Hi! So now we know what happened! Now that it's said, I do remember something about the vaccine, but it wasn't clear before. Making all the zombies have rabies is an interesting idea. I don't know enough about rabies to know if it would do something like this, but I assume you've done your research. Either way, it could be a mutated form, or it could be different when contracted from the vaccine.

This military base is extremely eerie. It's pretty creepy to read about, and I'm getting a strong sense of something being wrong. It's obvious the characters are too. A bad habit in books and movies is when someone has a bad feeling about something but stays anyway. A way to counter that might be to have them agree to leave after the mission, but I don't know what you intend. Having the hurt on the outskirts and no women is very spooky. My current guess is something akin to sacrifice, give the women and the injured to the zombies to get them to leave the others alone, or they might just not allow women. Whatever it is, it's pretty clear something's wrong. The general wanting their supplies makes me thing that when they come back, their truck will have been raided.

Marian is becoming extremely important in this story. I like how she's a symbol of hope, like how they always say children are the hope for the future. She's very important to both Beth and Jerry, and it's very interesting how she evolved from just a nuisance to an extremely important character without even speaking!

I don't really have any critiques for this section. The mood is extremely well done, and I can tell the story is moving forwards to something big. Well done!





Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd.
— Voltaire