No light

This story is about a close friend of mine. I miss her, and hope you enjoy. R.I.P Cheyenne Rose Peterson

She stared at the floor. It sat there taunting her with masked lies. In her dimly lit room it seemed to shine as bright as the slivery moon. Heart quickening, and tears overflowing, Eboni grabbed it. It felt so cold against her palm . She placed it at the base of her head. Doubt rumbled around in her mind, but she ignored it. This was the only way, and she had no one to blame, but herself. Eboni pulled the trigger. The loud bang echoed throughout her house and street. The neighbors called for help, her mother screamed, and the sky cried for her. Another lost soul died at their own hands on October 20th 2010.

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Earlier that day

“I want your ugly, I want your disease. I want your everything as long as it’s free.” Eboni groaned and searched blindly for her little alarm clock. “Love, love, love I want your love.” Once found, she beat her fist against it until she ended Lady Gaga. Eboni sighed and dug deeper into the warmth of her blankets. How she could stay there all day and dream of prince charming and his magical, white horse.

“Eboni!” But life wanted more from her. “Eboni Badem!” Without a chance for a reply, the door swung open. Hector grabbed her arm and started pulling off her bed. “What the hell are you doing? Get up!”

“Stop!” She yelled. “You dumbass, knock it off!”

Hector let go as Eboni thumped onto the wooden floor. “What did you just say?”

Eboni stood and glared, not afraid. “I said leave me alone!”

He backhanded her. “Or what?”

The blow stung, but by now she was used to them. It wasn’t the first time one of her mother’s husbands had lost their temper. She smirked and in the mist of his laughter, Eboni kneed him in between his thighs. Then she quickly grabbed a hoddie and ran to her car. The old engine came to life and started towards Eboni’s school.

~~~

The first two hours pasted by rapidly, leaving Eboni lingering in the hallways. She hated her third hour. “Come on,” she whispered to herself “it’s only 50 something minutes. You can do this.” She sighed and ventured in like the room was it was an exotic jungle. Then she saw him, but how could she not notice? He was loud and drew a crowd easily. If that wasn’t enough, it was his lean, athletic body or David Archuleta looks that caught your eye.

He moved just slightly, and caught Eboni staring. Their eyes locked. Eboni automatically blushed, but couldn’t get herself to look away. His eyes were so soft and gentle. It had been so long since she had seen him that way towards anyone. Especially her.

“Brandon!” A squeaky voice called. The lock broke and moved to a skinny, blond girl in the doorway. It was Maddison. She flashed him a brainless grin, as she wrapped her hands around his neck. “I’ve missed you!”

Brandon plastered a smile and returned her hug, “I missed you too, babe.”

Eboni’s heart sank like the Titanic had in the harsh, ocean waves. Watching them together was like watching a murder unfold right in front of you. It left you feeling pissed, confused, scarred and utterly hopeless. She sighed, sauntered to her desk and worked on her unfinished homework until the bell rang.

A red-headed women walked to the front of the room. “Hello,” she said. “I am Miss. Capello, and I’m the sub while your teacher is out for the day. Now,” Eboni’s back felt like tiny arrows had been shot threw it. She turned and caught Brandon staring. Was that yearning she saw in those bright, blue eyes, or was she just imaging it? Eboni turned back and tried to focus.

“Eboni?” Miss. Capello called out. “Miss. Badem are you here?” Eboni had been so in glossed with Brandon that she didn’t even hear the teacher calling her name.

She opened her mouth to answer, but Maddison was quicker. “No, she’s probably out getting a tummy tuck. God knows how fat she’s gotten the few past months.”

Fury raged inside Eboni like a caged loin. She stood and hurled her orange notebook at Maddison. “Who, the hell do you think you are?” she screeched. “You filthy-ass slut, do you know who your sitting next to? MY ex-boyfriend. You think your so high and fucking mighty, but all you do is chase after everyone’s sloppy seconds.”

She turned to Brandon. “Tell them!” She demeaned. “Tell them the truth. You came up with the damn idea!” He looked away, but not before she saw the guilt and shame carved in his eyes. Tears danced on her face, finally released from their prison. Eboni sprinted out the door and down the hall until she reached the girl’s bathroom. She rammed herself into one of the stalls and locked the door.

~~~

After crying for an hour, Eboni finally got her composer in check. Nothing had been as painful as Brandon’s silence, though she should have known. It wasn’t the first time he had betrayed her to save himself. Eboni stood and wandered though the hallway. Her next class was science, she would need her text book.

She was surprised to see a tall, dark skinned girl standing next to her locker. The girl looked like a cat while it was taking a bath, but Eboni didn’t seem to notice. “Egypt!” She pulled the girl into a tight hug.

Egypt pushed her away. “Do not touch me.” She crossed her arms protectively, across her chest. “Look, I ain’t here to be all buddy, buddy with you.”

“Then what-”

Egypt cut her off. “I wasn’t done.” She sighed. “I’m here to tell you, you better watch yourself, cause Cordelia is pissed.”

Eboni felt exasperated. “Now what did I do?”

“Your fight with Maddison.”

Eboni’s mouth hung open and wide. “Since when the hell did they become friends?” Memories of fights with Maddison came rushing into her mind. Cordelia was always the first person there to help her.

Egypt simply shrugged. “You know how things is with her and Brandon. You mess with Maddison, you messin’ with Brandon.” She turned and started walking down the hall. “Good luck, girl. You goanna need it.”

Eboni’s stomach burned with anger. She hit her fist against her locker; forgetting about her math book, Eboni marched down to her next class. Enough was enough, she was going to talk Cordelia and end this, no matter what. Even if it killed her.

~~~

“Now, class don’t forget to read, chapter eight and nine for homework.” Eboni’s teacher rushed, afraid her children would leave class without this important information. “I’d also freshen up on the previous chapters. They may be on the test tomorrow.” The bell rang. “Alright class dismissed.” Everyone ran full speed, like starved dogs at the first sight of meat. Eboni’s heart twisted in pain. She never felt so scared.

Eboni got into the lunch line,grabbed her food, then started towards her old table. Egypt was there, with a few other girls. They were all giving her death looks, except Egypt. Pity was covered in her eyes, just as shame had been in Brandon’s. Eboni sighed and nibbled on her pizza.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Cordelia stood in front of her, Nathaniel Gray be her side.

Fear gripped Eboni’s heart and squeezed, trying to make it burst. “Trying to eat.” She said shakily.

Cordelia dropped her food on the table, but continued standing. “Sorry, but we don’t allow white trash at this table.”

One thing Eboni had always admired about Cordelia was that if she didn’t like you, she let you know. Now, she dreaded it. “I know your mad about what did with baby.”

Cordelia’s brows rose all the way to her dyed, black hair. “The abortion? Hell yeah, I’m pissed.” She whipped Eboni’s food onto the floor. “Now that we have that established, leave!”

Eboni finally looked into her eyes, then regretted it with every fiber of her being. Cordelia’s hazel eyes were always smoothing, almost like a mother’s when she holds her baby for the first time. Always filled with joy and love even after everything life’s though at her. They glared at Eboni with nothing, but darkness. As if hate was all she ever knew.

“Cori please, this is stupid, we’ve been best friends since the third grade.”

She cracked her knuckles. “Not anymore.” In one swift move she grabbed a huge handful of Eboni’s hair and jerked the tiny girl out of her seat.

“Let me go!” She squealed, desperately trying to fight back, but Cordelia was strong.

Cordelia grabbed the presser point in the back of Eboni’s neck. “Shut up! We don’t want to make scene, now do we?” She drag Eboni until they were in the hallway, then threw her against the brick wall. The pain stung, but wasn’t the reason for her sudden tears. A crowd began to circle around the two girls. “Now, I’m not going to tell you again,” by this time Egypt and Nathaniel were by her side. “stay the hell away from me, or next time, I promise, you’ll be leaving here in an ambulance.” Cordelia glared her down with a level of disgust that would make the Devil himself squirm.

The world on Eboni’s shoulders crashed and shattered all around her. She clumsily got onto her feet and once again ran. She ran and ran until she reached her trailer park. (Which wasn’t far.) She was grateful to find no one home, but that didn’t stop the pain that burned inside her.

She went to the kitchen in need of something to claim her down. She grabbed a dirty plate from the sink and started scrubbing it, until it broke. It left a nasty cut on her pinky finger, that forced a sudden rage to overpowered her. She threw one half of the plate onto the floor. It felt somewhat good. She did it again. She broke dish after dish until there were no more dishes. The sink was the same as her soul. Useless.

Eboni slid to the floor, clucking herself so hard there would be black and purple marks on her arms later. Once again tears flooded her pretty face. Everything that she kept inside all those month came out. The guilt, shame, rejection and betrayal. It was all too much. Then an ugly, monstrous thought came. Eboni stood and walked to her mother’s room. They had a handgun hidden under their bed.