This poem is a very personal one and has a story behind it, but then again, what writing doesn't? In May a very close friend and past boyfriend of mine passed away very suddenly. He had a brain tumor and heart disease that no one knew about until it was too late. He spent 72 agonizingly long hours in the hospital before the doctors pronounced him brain dead, I was there for every second. Since he passed I have gotten clean, because I know he would have wanted me to. He had a major impact on my life and was my love for sometime. Even though I didn't want to admit it, pretty much the whole time I knew him. We broke up after six months of 'dating' (I had known him for three years at this time) because he wanted something that I couldn't give. He apologized hundreds of times and said he didn't need what he had asked for before but I never forgave him, no matter how bad I wanted to. I ignored my feelings because I thought it was the right thing to do at the time. Now it seems petty and immature of me to have not of forgiven him. That will be a big regret of mine. But for sometime I have been wanting to write about him and his death, writing is my outlet. I haven't been able to find the write words to express what I needed to, and didn't really try but today these words fell heavily on my heart. I'm not looking for a critique by putting this one out there. Just someone to recognize this, I guess. Someone to tell me I will be okay, no matter how many times I've heard it before.
My heart aches for the hole that will never be filled,
The missing link that will never be found,
And the stolen life that will never be returned.
A young man with hard working hands was laid to rest this day,
A good man with soft loving hands went home to his father this may.
Just eleven days past his eighteenth year,
His life hadn't even begun before he left here.
Did he have enough time to do what was right?
Did he have enough time to give hell a fight?
But why was so little time enough to give up his life?
Just eleven days past his eighteenth year,
His life hadn't even begun before he left here.
Was he welcomed into heaven with open arms,
Or did fire scar his heart?
Did he have enough time to do what was right?
Did he have enough time to give hell a fight?
Did he have enough time to give his life to Christ?
But why was so little time enough to give up his life?
Just eleven days past his eighteenth year,
His life hadn't even begun before he left here.
Did he right his wrongs before he had to go?
Did he get enough time to forgive old foes?
Did he profess his feelings to the one he loved the most?
And say goodbye to the ones he held dear?
Just eleven days past his eighteenth year,
His life hadn't even begun before he left here.
I had enough time to forgive him of what I thought was wrong,
But instead I let my life move on.
I had enough time to apologize and look into his eyes one more time and tell him I love him.
But I didn't,
Until there was no more time.
And that will haunt me for the rest of my life.
-XoChange
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125,008 Literary Works • 672,828 Reviews
Thank you all so much for your words of encouragement and sympathy. This was something I just threw together, wrote the words as they came to mind. I will edit it and probably post the edited version on here too. Again, thank you all so much.
I will keep you and the ones you have lost in my prayers.
Much Love and Thanks,
Change
very good writing, the words you chose were perfect to express what youre feeling. I sympathize with you as you clearly write your heart out here.
Hi I like this poem and I think you should live the way it is. It is real and that is what makes it good, sometimes people just write about things that don't even relate to them.
I lost a very important person in my life too and I can definitely relate to this part:
This person was part of my FAMILY ... 6 years have passed and every single day I thought about the amount of times I could have told her how much she meant to me instead I kept it to myself. But now I know that she could read through my eyes and even though I didn't tell her explicitly she knew that I cared for her. I am sure that the person you lost knew how much you loved him otherwise you wouldn't have been close to him in the moment that he needed you the most. Also this is part of life, you realize how much a person means to you once he is not there anymore. What I do now is is pray for her and hope one day she'll get in a better place ... hope this helps
this honestly made me teary-eyed. I've had a similar event happen to me, and for some strange reason, I really can't take it when I know that other people have to face that type of pain. I am so sorry, and in all honestly, I know exactly how you feel. I also love how you said that you want no critique. Sometimes I just want to put my stuff out there too. I don't want everybody to twist it around and morph it. All I have to say is that I want to know how you feel. At least one stanza, maybe two. Could you even eat, sleep, concentrate? Could you feel anything at all at first? Although this is simply beautiful, that would make it at it's best.
Despite being a writer, and a poet at that, I can't express in words how sorry I am for what happened to you, and to your friend. I know how painful it is being separated from someone you love and being helpless to change it; but even I can't imagine how agonizing it would be to watch them die. You capture all these emotions, especially the aching regret and the painful questions, so beautifully. I will pray for you and your friend, and I hope you will be able to heal. Stay strong, love.
Wow, this is a wonderful poem! It is written very well, the flow gets rocky sometimes, but, oh well... I'm sorry for what had happened, I can't really relate to this though, in my life time so far I have never lost someone... It is one on my worse fears, to lose someone I love... It is good that you got clean for him, and, I hope that he excepted the Lord and got to the gates of heaven...
~Rain~
First of all I'm sorry for your loss. I lost someone very dear to me and I too was in love with him. This poems had so many emotions and everyone of them made me think back to him. This is one of the best poems I've ever read before.
Again I'm sorry for your loss and sorry I couldn't be more of help reviewing your work. Keep writing!