Goodbye
Two small words
One happy
The other,
Not so much
But brought together,
It’s like a Hurricane meeting a Volcano
Something’s going to fizzle out
Cutting ties with a butter knife,
Difficult and gruesome,
But not impossible.
I can’t force the words to leave my lips,
No matter how hard I try.
Everyone says I need to say them.
I need to move on,
But I can’t.
I can’t let go of you,
Even though you’ve let go of life.
My heart rate slows,
And my breath is short.
My eyes close.
I’m going to join you,
I don’t need to say goodbye anymore.
Points:
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Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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Thank you both
I will take what you said into consideration when I write my next poem.
XOChange
Nicely written, I did feel the pain that you are portraying as I read through this. I wrote a poem semi close to this so I know what you're going through if the is you you're speaking of.
The ending is by far this best out of it all, I can see the eyes closing; feel the heart rate slowing and now your with him or her, whoever. Nicely done indeed, just remember punctuation is mostly needed in every form of art and poetry. Keep writing!
I like this poem a lot! i could really feel the emotions in it. and i love your broad vocabulary! Keep up the great work!