Published February 14, 2006
Whispered goodbyes
Unanswered questions
The hope inside of me ready to kick in
Covering my heart up numbing my pain
It tells me he’ll love me by Monday
So many things I wanted
So many dreams
It was a short lived romance
Enough to hit me down
I used to fight, for you and me
If you knew the confusion that ate away our time
You wouldn’t have said goodbye
Can’t face these lonely nights again
Just want to be who you need
I bought your words free of charge
So I thought
I’m a sucker for believing
Wanting
You’re no sinner
No liar
Your words were spun in hope of believing them
too
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First, your punctuation doesn't make sense. You've put in semi-colons in between two thoughts on the same line, but nowhere else in the poem have you punctuated. I can't remember who said it but someone did say, "A poet must first learn the rules of grammar in order to break them." Punctuate the whole poem properly and then decide where a broken rule will provide a good effect - for example, fragments make for dramatic endings/beginnings. Also, once you've punctuated, you can kill off the bad lines in your poem and the unconnected thoughts.
Otherwise, "short lived" needs a hyphen.
It sounded more like a song than a poem, because it was too fast-paced. Slow it down and work on your metre (or meter).
It's something to work with, a first draft per se, but it needs to be altered and shaped into something before this can become a poem.
Oh, and ....
... welcome back!