Young Writers Society

Thank you ! I really do enjoy reading you comments!
Wu

This was really good! The theme was cool, and a lot of the lines were really beautiful!

The lights switched off,
Staring at the computer screen,
Waiting for your name to pop up,
Waiting for you again.

The drone of music comforting my mind,
All the hopes inside of me,
Dying with such elegance,
My life lying around me.

God only knows I need you,

Please turn on your phone,
Read my texts of denial,

I didn't say good bye,
Why did you go?

This is a very nice poem.

Questions forming inside me,
Lies cradling my heart.

Please turn on your phone,
Read my texts of denial,

The lights switched off,
Staring at the computer screen,
Waiting for your name to pop up,

My heart has become an unread message.

Hey - thanks guys, same you're always nice about my work . And brad well thank you hehe. I'm not to sure I like this poem I like the theme, because it's how I felt at the time however it seems to be good ! keep comments coming if there are any.

I have to agree with him (darn you you take the words out of my mouth!) It's sort of vague and mysterious, which, for this poem, is a good thing. I really do enjoy your poetry, Wulie.

Aah. I must say I thoroughly enjoyed this. Although, I'm not feeling myself today, so that could be another factor. I liked the way you epitomized your relationship in a text message, which was effective, for me, because I text message all the time in that sense. I liked the way you related you to the phone and the phone to him. Only comment is that you should drop the "?" at the last line:

"Please, please don't go?"

And replace it with either an elipsis or a period, depending on what kind of an effect you want. I'd like the period over the elipsis, but you may think the elipsis suits it best. It's your choice.