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I don’t care

by WritingPrincess


I don’t care what people say

Cause I’ve learnt to find my way.

I don’t care if people point

Cause I know we all disappoint.

I don’t care if I’m called names

Cause I know not to play their games.

I don’t care if I’m ignored

Cause at least I know I have my sword.

I don’t care if I’m mistreated

Cause I know I can’t be defeated.

But some do care what people say

Cause some don’t know how to find their way.

Some do care if people point

Cause some don’t know we all disappoint.

Some do care if they’re called names

Cause they think they have to play their games.

Some do care if they’re ignored

Cause they don’t know where to find a sword.

Some do care if they’re mistreated

Cause some think they can be defeated.

But at the end of the day

No-one should care

Cause the bullies will simply begin to wear. 


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46 Reviews


Points: 55
Reviews: 46

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Sat Mar 09, 2019 4:26 pm
starryknightt wrote a review...



This is a magnificent poem. I really enjoyed it. The grammar is pretty stellar, too. I also felt like I could really relate to it. That is both sides of this poem. I am both people in these situations, and it struck me how accurate they both were. It depends on the situation I'm in, and I feel like others can agree.

I have a lot of respect for people who can write songs and poetry because no matter how hard I try I can never accomplish it myself. ESPECIALLY the rhyming part! Incredible! The ability to sort through your thoughts and emotions so efficiently is amazing, and you do so wonderfully.

I've got to say, my favorite part, of course, were the last three lines. Your word choice was great. The bullies do eventually begin to "wear". Not disappear or leave or simply stop all at once. That's not how it works. Most of the time, they're going to "wear" and the process is slow but surely, in the end, it is worth it.






Wow, thanks for the amazing review! I%u2019m really glad you liked it!



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Sat Mar 09, 2019 3:36 pm
OofOof1 wrote a review...



I really like all the lines and phrases you put in this poem because it makes the poem go together. What you could improve though is I would recommend you put this poem into stanzas. To me stanzas make the poem more easier to read since more organized that way. I also like how you rhymed in this poem that was really good.


Also I really like how you repeated one line in the poem, that's repetition which is one of the elements of poetry that makes poetry great. Good job.






Thanks for the review and I%u2019m glad you liked it! It was originally in stanzas, but I don%u2019t know how to do them when publishing haha.



OofOof1 says...


:-)



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108 Reviews


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Sat Mar 09, 2019 2:51 pm
4revgreen wrote a review...



Hey there!
This was genuinely a brilliant poem. I loved the structure, and the repetition of "I don't care" and everything else that was repeated.
I especially liked the last three lines, and how the "but at the end of the day" broke the rhyme scheme, showing how the pattern of some people caring has been broke.
The rhyme scheme was pretty great, the only think i can critique is that you rhymed "Point" and "Disappoint" which both end in the same word, if you get what I mean, but to be honest that doesn't really matter, as it really gets across the point you were trying to make.
It was a wonderful poem, with an important message :-)






Thanks for the review and I%u2019m glad you like it! With the thing about point and disappoint, I simply couldn%u2019t find another word that would fit. But thanks for pointing it out! :)



4revgreen says...


I always get that struggle with poetry, finding other words that rhyme XD



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Sat Mar 09, 2019 11:39 am
FlamingPhoenix wrote a review...



Hello, FlamingPhoenix here with a review for you on this lovely day.

Okay so this was a great idea for a poem, I think everyone is the world should read this, because it makes you feel better about yourself. There was a lot of emotion is this poem, and it made it feel really real.
Another thing I like about your poem is that every word at the end of every line rimes, and I think that adds a lot to your poem.

Now I did want to point out one thing that i think will help a little.
Now with they way your have written this poem, I think a full stop should be put at the end of every second line, because when I was reading it, I stopped at every second like to take a breath. You don't have to do it. but I just wanted to put the thought out there.

Okay so that it for me. I really liked reading your poem, and reviewing it. I hope I will see more works from you now your back on YWS. Never stop writing and have a great day/night.

Your friend
FlamingPhoenix. :D
Reviewing with a fiery passion.






Thanks for the review! I did mean to put the full stops in, I just forgot haha. Will do so now! Again, thanks for the review and I%u2019m glad you liked it!





Glad I could help




"Death is cheap, and so is life, but a reputation is not easily recovered."
— SirenCymbaline the Kiwi