Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language and violence.
Ever since Liam's first encounter with the two mutants, he's been finding himself running into them more and more. They kept the relative appearance of the first one he killed and not the newly turned one. This calmed his nerves and confusion a bit, as his theory was it may have been a survivor hiding out that managed to get caught. It wasn't a foolproof theory by any means, but it was the best he could come up with.
Kennedy was practically eating up what Liam was telling him on the daily walkie talks. He had Liam repeat himself multiple times so all of the information could be properly recorded, and he swears he heard Kennedy let out a sigh of disappointment when he didn't have anything to bring him that day.
The thickness of the forest had cleared out significantly, which meant Liam could actually see where he was going, and he could also have a sight advantage. Many times, he found himself ambushed by a mutant because the trees hid them perfectly. Seeing them from a distance was arguably creepier, but it was an improvement.
Liam was used to going a long time without a proper shower from his past missions, but this one was the worst yet. He had to have been out in the wilderness for a few months at least, and running water was scarce. On the rare occasion he did find some, it was mostly used for drinking purposes rather than bathing. He had found the holy grail though. A huge, circular lake panned out in front of him in a clearing of the woods. It was relatively clean, with the water close to the bank being the dirtiest, but he couldn't care less. He unequipped all of his weapons and peeled his shirt off, soaking it in the water in hopes of getting all of the dirt and dried blood off of it.
The water splashing on his face felt heaven itself. He dunked his head in the water and scrubbed at his dirty, greasy scalp. He still didn't feel super clean, but the surface layer grime was off, and he was grateful. He laid his wet shirt flat on the grass to dry and collected some water in his jugs for drinking. He still had his pants to wash, but he didn't want to walk around in an unknown forest in nothing but his underwear, so all there was left to do was lay down and soak up some sun.
It had been a while since he rested during the daytime. He would stop to quickly eat food and continue on, which arguable left him hungrier since he didn't have time to actually eat. He had just gotten comfortable on the grass though and didn't feel like getting back up to reach for his bag. A quick nap would do wonders, and he could eat after.
Liam didn't know how long he was asleep for, but all he knew as that he woke up a sharp, stinging pain on the side of his left leg. It was fresh, so fresh he could still feel whatever was attacking him continuing to slice down.
"Holy shit!" Liam yelled once he got a view of what it was. It was a mutant gnawing on his leg, its teeth slicing him open. He used his good foot to kick it in the face, knocking it into the water. He preferred using guns against these things, but a knife was laying right beside him, so he grabbed it as he hobbled up. The mutant was already back up and charging at him, quite upset at the interruption of its possible meal.
Liam was able to plunge the knife into its arm as the two collided and he almost sliced it clean off as he yanked it back. The mutant swung its other arm at his face, leaving a gash starting on his chin and going down his neck. This one had something that Liam had yet to see: claws. The bones around its hands seemed to have morphed into three sharp weapons. On top of that, the damned thing wouldn't stop screaming. It was screeching like a baby throwing a tantrum, preventing Liam from keeping focus on the fight. He managed a few more stabs into the chest region before he was tackled back onto the ground. The knife slipped from his grasp and all he was left with was his hands.
The blood from his wound was rolling back on his face, getting into his mouth. He spit a chunk of it out onto the mutant's face, which seemed to stun it for a second, and Liam took that opportunity to push it off of him. It once again landed in the water, and he hobbled on one leg to get on top. His weapons were too far away so he resorted to his fists for the time being. The mushy, dissolved flesh became one goop after endless amounts of punching, and he didn't stop until it stopped twitching. He crawled off the body and crawled to one of his guns, giving a quick bullet to the head to really make sure it was dead.
Liam sat up to examine the cut on his leg. It was on the side near the calf, and any kind of stretching or pressure send waves of pain through his body, making the corners of his vision go black. Now that the adrenaline was wearing off, he was able to realize the cut had most likely gone into the muscle, which meant a long journey of pain ahead of him. The wound on his neck thankfully didn't hit anything major in his neck, but it was losing a scary amount of blood. He put his shirt back on and reached for the first aid kit in his bag, which contained the wound disinfectant and a bandage. The disinfectant hitting the wounds arguably hurt worse, but he was able to wrap it up and hopefully keep away an infection.
Bending down on one good leg to pick up his weapons was a difficult task, but Liam was able to manage. He equipped everything back on and limped around the perimeter of the lake, trying out walking on his hurt leg. His distance walked everyday was going to be cut at least by half, but the idea of staying in one area too long made him uneasy.
Liam went to bend down one more time to grab his backpack, but he was interrupted by the whizzing of a bullet directly above his head. He stood froze in his bent position as he heard the shooter load the gun again.
"You don't seem to have been mutated for very long, so surely you can understand these words: don't take that missed shot as a sign of weakness, it was just a warning. You're about to see how my true aim never misses," he heard. The voice belonged to a woman for sure. This must have been a survivor, since he had yet to come across a mutated who could talk so clearly, or even talk to begin with.
"Woah, woah, woah! Hey! I'm not mutated, or infected or whatever it's called. I'm normal! Just really hurt!" Liam shouted out. He slowly stood up all the way, putting his hands up to show he meant no harm. "My- my name's Liam Ellsworth. I work for the government, the National Emergency Branch. I was sent out here to... I'm not really sure. Survey the area? Kill mutants? They honestly threw a bunch of stuff at me-"
Liam's good leg finally had enough of supporting his weight all by itself and his body crumpled to the ground. He hissed in pain, and he heard shuffling of someone walking to him.
"What's your name?" the woman asked as she got closer.
"Liam, I said-" he stopped when he lifted up his head to stare at her. She was wearing a pair of tight black pants, a blue long sleeve shirt, and a busted pair of sneakers. She had no weapons on her other than the pistol she had in her hands, which was actively being put back in a holster. Her brown hair was choppily cut at her shoulders, but it was her face that made Liam freak.
Even though everything else about her looked different, her face was still the same. The blue eyes, chubby cheeks, and mole under her lip. He could pick that face out in a crowd of millions. Billions even.
He was finally staring back at Diana, who had just come centimeters close to shooting him straight in the head.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
Hello, friend!!

This review is brought to you by review team Potato! I'm here to finally get this wonderful work out of the Green Room!
Get ready... Get set...
Keep Your Eyes Peeled - My Interpretation
This was an incredibly interesting and well-written, action-packed chapter! You did a wonderful job with so much detail, and the way you portrayed Diana at the end was quite mystical!
Brief Summary: Liam has been wandering the forest for quite some time, fighting off mutants and scouting the area, when he comes across a lake. As it's been a long time since the last time he'd bathed, he took the opportunity quickly. After cleaning himself up, he laid down in the sun and took a nap. That was until a mutant started gnawing on his leg, and he had to get up and fight it. He beat it with almost no problem and began to pack his stuff to move again when a shot rang out past his head. He turned around to find that it was Diana, a woman he could recognize from anywhere.
This was a very interesting plot!! And considering I just jumped into the middle of this novel, it all seemed to make a decent amount of sense, which was great!
It's The Tot That Counts - Some Advice
I didn't notice anything wrong plot-wise and your grammar seemed pretty strong! But there was one little mistake that I caught where you seemed to have forgotten to put a word in...
It was when Liam arrived at the lake and he was finally able to bathe himself and relax. You said,
But it seems this sentence doesn't make much sense without the word "like" thrown in there somewhere. It's a simple fix... All you have to do is throw the word "like" in there somewhere! It would look like this:
But, obviously, this is just a suggestion, and it's always up to the writer, so please take this criticism lightly and know that I mean nothing negative by it—only trying to provide a somewhat useful critique.
That's Absolutely Mashing - My Favorites
Like I said before, this was a really epic and quite interesting chapter! I had a lot of fun reading it all, but there were a couple things that I enjoyed more than others... Which is what this section is talking about... So, let's begin!!
The first thing that really stood out to me was how vivid your detail was throughout this chapter! Especially the way you wrote and choreographed the fight scene between Liam and the mutant in the middle of the story! It was so well done and intense, and I loved reading it! One part in particular that I took note of was when you said,
The picture is painted perfectly, and you can imagine exactly what's going down, which is always really cool! The detail here was phenomenal! You can envision every cut and scrape and every move the two make almost flawlessly, which is exactly what you want from an action novel, so kudos to you for that!
The other thing that genuinely caught my eye while reading this fantastical chapter was the addition of a love interest! Liam was getting shot at by someone who thought he was a mutant, but when he turned around, he saw a face unlike any other. You said,
These sorts of things always make novels so much more enticing, and I, as a reader, always eat them up! This was wonderfully done, and the introduction of a new, seemingly very important character is always so nice to witness, and you did this so incredibly well! Good job there!
Time Fries When You're Having Fun - Final Words
This was an absolutely stellar piece of work from you! I had a great time reading it, and I was really getting into it! I hope you post more of this novel at some point, because I am definitely interested in more!
Chip, chip, hooray!! Thank you for taking the time to write and post this, and I hope this review is of some use to you!
I'll see you tater! I hope you have a magnificent day (or night) wherever you are!
Hello IrishPride13 Back again
Reminder I wright my reviews as I Read them because I'm scatterbrained
I try to Review each paragraph and what it makes me think and/or feel.
lets get onto the review
The intro to the First Paragraph. I see that you skipped some time.
Maybe it's just my personal taste, but I do enjoy writing good fight scenes now. And would have liked to see it.
ANd there is KENNEDY. I love to hate him. Sighs when his man on the ground doesn't keep almost Dying.
I like your world building. I could see in my head the open field with the Zombies just listing along until they were actively Engaged Actively.
Wait took all of the weapons off in the field on this isn't good “first thoughts i think of when reading that”
This Paragraph
I have only read two books that talk about the Personal hygiene problem in the field. The feeling of being dirty sucks. not many from what I have seen.
I have to question the Protagonist's intelligence for that laying down and basking in the sun during a zombie apocalypse and a wide open field. Oh god.
Then i wasn’t Surprised at all when a mutant got to him
Oo he almost took the things arm off with a knife, do the things have weak bones?
Are they Intelligent
O boy o boy o boy more people yaaaaa
I retract my last he found his love yaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaa
OOOOOOH I LOVED THIS CHAPTER!
The action was so good, and the reveal at the end aaaaaah-
The only thing I would change is your tenses- they were a lil irregular and switched a lot, but other than that it was amazing, as usual :D