I keep
the entree of my imagination
ajar
'n
within I've
a round table with two seats,
one for me
another for an idea,
'Only Brilliant ones allowed'
I have a placard say strictly.
Is it rude?
Nothing comes through
except cold air,
the doors swing to shut
saying, none are invited.
And that's how
I keep losing ideas.
I want
brilliant or nothing,
nothing can't be something
but little did I know
something
can become anything
even brilliant,
cold air can be or become an idea
maybe it had a seat all
day and night.
Ideas come out of nothing
their origin is nowhere,
clean-slates are opportunity
for brilliance.
©Wordzy
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Canary word: Present
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
When all is left in the mind but nothingness, it is when the prettiest of ideas will come about. If one will allow them to come about, then all will be bright again. I believe this poem is about not letting the simplest ideas inspire you, when the simplest is what can inspire you to make art. At least, that’s what I got from this poem. Not sure if this interpretation is right.
I wish you a nice day/night.
Thank you for the review
Hey there! Plume here, with a review!
I enjoyed reading your poem!! I think the message it sends is very relatable; I find that I'm often stuck on what to create because I don't have any good ideas, so my thoughts are squashed before they even have a chance to become something lovely, which is a feeling you've captured very nicely here.
One thing I liked was the way you structured this poem. That first stanza especially had a lot of nice usage of shorter lines; I especially liked the use of "'n" as a single line—I thought it added a super interesting sound device, almost like percussion, because it was a single consonant and so short. The way you sometimes inverted sentences, too, was great (like saying 'Only brilliant ones allowed' I have a placard say strictly, as opposed to reversing it). It added variety to your poem and made it more interesting and engaging to read overall. Ending the first stanza with a question was also really nice; I also think the idea of being rude to an idea is quite whimsical and inventive.
One thing I wondered about is if you could perhaps elevate the imagery. I get that this is more of a narrative poem, but I found myself wanting more devices like the "cold air" you mentioned a few times. I think it really helped place myself in the poem; while structurally, your poem was interesting, I think I'd have liked to see a little more figurative language on the content side. I think there's a lot of places you could go with this, and I would love to see other iterations of it, if you do decide to play around with certain lines!
Specifics
Something about this phrase didn't flow well in my mind; to me, saying "none is invited" feels wrong, somehow. "None are," to me, sounds more natural.
Same here; I feel like grammatically, this didn't flow as well. I think that reversing the order of "be" and "become" would work better. I also didn't understand why "it" was capitalized here. Additionally, I think "was having" is a strange form of the verb to have there—I think "it had" would flow more naturally.
Overall: thank you so much for this delightful poem! It was wonderfully relatable, and the flow was very nice. Let me know if you have any further questions for me, and I hope to read more of your poetry soon! Until next time!
Thank you for the review. Will work on it.