Published May 8, 2010
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141,367 Literary Works • 674,382 Reviews
Thanks to both of you. I appreciate it.
It's a free rhyming as I noticed, but it compensates the lack of rhythm with it's sentence structure and words used. Whole work feels like an advice from somebody, who's a deep thinker and lives in mountains, looking down on all the cities and teaches his students. Reminds me of those old times when martial arts students trained under masters in mountains, from whom many said words of wisdom to their students.
Well, that was kind of my impression of it ^^ I somehow do not feel like this being perfect, but I wasn't the one cut out for poetry anyway. I'd rate this high fore sure, so good job and keep writing!
Kyousuke
I like this poem, especially since I just posted one on this same topic. It is a chilling thought indeed that few follow pure desire rather than what reason tells them. It makes me think the impending doom set upon our home, our world, because we are so fueled by anger, rage and greed,that the good of intellect has left us. I especially like how short it is. It makes you think more. Good job.