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Two Years Ago

by WordWeaver1357

To say that the room I woke up in was colourful would be an understatement. The walls featured a jarring combination of colours, and every piece of furniture served as a bold proclamation of audacity.

Yuck was the first thought that came to my mind.

The world was spinning, and the only thought in my mind was, who am I?

That’s silly, another voice chimed in my head. Of course you know who you are.

I tried to get up, but the floor was sinking. Or I was.

Any trace of my past was slipping through my fingers like grains of sand.

“Naina? Oh good, you’re finally awake.” I turned my head to see a tall woman leaning on the doorframe, her brown hair spilling out of her bun. She’s pretty, I thought.

“Who are you?” I asked, scouring my mind for any clue of her identity. I expected her to laugh at it, but she just bit her lip and said, “I’ll be right back.”

She slipped out and began conversing with another man who had a deep voice, as sweet and rich as chocolate. It carried the soft cadence of a breeze rustling through autumn leaves. The only words I caught between their tête-à-tête were, “Amnesia…forgot again…doctor…what do we do?”

It didn’t take me too long to piece together what was happening. I tried to quell the burgeoning anxiety inside me, but my mind raced. The woman, probably my mother, came back in. Her smile looked strained as she sat down next to me. I flinched when she touched my arm, and I could see her blinking back tears.

“Do you remember your name?” She asked. I shook my head. “You’re Naina,” she said. “You’re fourteen. You love music and bold colours.” Tears rolled down her cheek, but I couldn’t bring myself to wipe them off. That’s what her daughter would do, I thought. She left the room, hiding her tear-stained face.

The man - dad - walked in and said, “Forgive your mother. She’s just…emotional. You’ll be fine, darling.” I guess he could see the surprise on my face, because he asked, “Are you okay with me calling you ‘darling’?” I nodded. He hugged me tightly, and I wanted to melt into his embrace.

I went to the café on the next block to clear my head. The neighbourhood felt vaguely familiar. Of course it feels familiar, I thought. You’ve lived here your entire life. The café was a bustling building at the end of the street. I sat down on the table in the corner, and a man in a waiter’s uniform walked up and said, “Hi! How are you?” I feigned a smile and replied, “I’m fine. What about you?” He talked to me for a few minutes, then went to get my iced tea. The music playing in the background changed, and the lilting tune triggered something.

It was as if a floodgate opened, and all my memories began trickling back in. I saw faces and locations that I couldn’t recognise; I could feel myself again.

There was a clicking sound.

I saw a bomb in my mind, the timer ticking. Terror overwhelmed me in a surging wave. I yelled, “EVERYONE, RUN! THERE’S A BOMB PLANTED HERE-”


Not one person moved, flinched, or looked at me. The waiter came back and put a hand on my shoulder, sitting down next to me. “Naina, it’ll be alright. It’s just in your mind. Relax.” His tight grip stopped me from shaking.

My eyes were brimming with tears now, and my heart was hammering against my chest. It all came back to me- the bomb blast nearly two years back, and my worsening amnesia.

I was alright.

I had gotten my memories back for good. I remembered everything- Ma, Pa, my older brother, my friends.

It was just a nightmare.

Is this a review?



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147 Reviews

Points: 26479
Reviews: 147

Tue Nov 21, 2023 10:11 pm
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Rose wrote a review...


Beyond my beloved horizon, I'm setting sail into uncharted pages with an itch for adventure. Through binoculars, I spy with my little eye; an intriguing story titled “Two Years Ago” that deserves a good review. So without further ado, let’s begin.


I. First Things First
You've written an amazing story with lots of elements of mystery involved. Your story opens with a disorienting scene as Naina wakes up in a colourful room only to find out that she had experienced amnesia.
Your use of short sentences definitely adds to the suspense and intrigue of the story just like Naina's loss of memories has opened a path of mysteries and secrets.

Your descriptions don't last long, but they're simply short and impactful lines that have the ability to paint perfect, clear pictures of the setting. Your use of metaphorical language definitely upholds the mysterious atmosphere that you've managed to spread throughout the story.
Any trace of my past was slipping through my fingers like grains of sand.

II. Plot Development
As Naina wakes up, she meets her mother and father, both grieving about their daughter's situation. It adds to the emotional impact of your story and the interaction is well portrayed.
And the protagonist's love for music and bold colours offers a glimpse into Naina's personality.

I've got a few suggestions for your story, starting with character development. The development of a character, in this case Naina, plays a huge part in both the character's motive and the character's background.
Some glimpses of Naina's past and snippets of her life before the bomb blast could provide the readers with a richer history of the character.

Additionally, the sudden shift in tone when mentioning a bomb hints at a mystery and secrets that goes deeper than revealed in the story, so perhaps you could consider writing a sequel, another chapter where you explain the reason behind the bomb blast and other effects of it. But of course, writing a sequel is entirely up to you.

Lastly, "show, don't tell. Instead of explicitly stating emotions such as "I was alright", you could consider showing the character's emotional state through their actions, body language, and thoughts. This will definitely boost the impact of your story.

These suggestions are offered with the intention of boosting the depth and impact of the story, so I hope they are helpful.

III. Seek Inspiration Beyond
Feel free to check out 157 Miles Per Hour by @PKMichelle for some extra inspiration and ideas to spice up your own storytelling!

IV. All in All
Everything in all and all in everything, your story was an absolute gem to read. It's a compelling start with room for further exploration of the protagonist's journey and the challenges she could face.
Good luck with your future writing projects!

That's it, that's all.
Hoping the review has been of value to you!

With Rose-tinted regards!

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30 Reviews

Points: 6049
Reviews: 30

Sat Nov 18, 2023 7:07 pm
PKMichelle wrote a review...

Hello friend!
I saw your work in the Green Room and figured I’d check it out.

On first impressions, this is a story about a girl who went through a traumatic experience and lost her memory because of that. This short has great detail and a very well-developed plot, with a complex and intricate main character.

If I could offer any sort of advice, I wouldn't! This is already really great! You did an amazing job telling this story!
I guess if I had to get nit-picky, I would say something about your European spelling of color. You used "colour" instead of "color", which isn't even technically wrong, as I have no idea where you're writing from. But I wanted to come up with something to put here.
Just know that it's always up to the writer, and really, there's nothing that needs to be changed here. Great job!

If I had to pick my favorite part, it would be the way you described certain things and the amount of detail you used. Your descriptions painted a very vivid picture and made the story all the more understandable. Especially the opening paragraph. It was just beautiful!

To say that the room I woke up in was colourful would be an understatement. The walls featured a jarring combination of colours, and every piece of furniture served as a bold proclamation of audacity.

This is a phenomenal choice of words that makes for a wonderful picture in the reader's mind. Kudos to you for that!

Overall, this was a wonderful read! It had everything a reader might look for: great details, a good main character, a clear plot, and it was short and to the point. You did a great job constructing this and coming up with a very well-rounded story!
Thank you for writing and posting this here for us all to read, and I hope you continue to write wonderful stories just like this one!

Goodbye for now! I hope you have a magnificent day (or night) wherever you are!

WordWeaver1357 says...

Hi, there, PKMichelle!
Thank you SO much for this review! I actually use British English where I'm writing from, so for me, 'colour' is what I've learnt since I was little.
I really appreciate your detailed review!
- WordWeaver1357

It is most unlikely. But - here comes the big "but" - not impossible.
— Roald Dahl