Greetings!
Beyond my beloved horizon, I'm setting sail into uncharted pages with an itch for adventure. Through binoculars, I spy with my little eye; an intriguing story titled “Two Years Ago” that deserves a good review. So without further ado, let’s begin.
I. First Things First
You've written an amazing story with lots of elements of mystery involved. Your story opens with a disorienting scene as Naina wakes up in a colourful room only to find out that she had experienced amnesia.
Your use of short sentences definitely adds to the suspense and intrigue of the story just like Naina's loss of memories has opened a path of mysteries and secrets.
Your descriptions don't last long, but they're simply short and impactful lines that have the ability to paint perfect, clear pictures of the setting. Your use of metaphorical language definitely upholds the mysterious atmosphere that you've managed to spread throughout the story.
Any trace of my past was slipping through my fingers like grains of sand.
II. Plot Development
As Naina wakes up, she meets her mother and father, both grieving about their daughter's situation. It adds to the emotional impact of your story and the interaction is well portrayed.
And the protagonist's love for music and bold colours offers a glimpse into Naina's personality.
I've got a few suggestions for your story, starting with character development. The development of a character, in this case Naina, plays a huge part in both the character's motive and the character's background.
Some glimpses of Naina's past and snippets of her life before the bomb blast could provide the readers with a richer history of the character.
Additionally, the sudden shift in tone when mentioning a bomb hints at a mystery and secrets that goes deeper than revealed in the story, so perhaps you could consider writing a sequel, another chapter where you explain the reason behind the bomb blast and other effects of it. But of course, writing a sequel is entirely up to you.
Lastly, "show, don't tell. Instead of explicitly stating emotions such as "I was alright", you could consider showing the character's emotional state through their actions, body language, and thoughts. This will definitely boost the impact of your story.
These suggestions are offered with the intention of boosting the depth and impact of the story, so I hope they are helpful.
III. Seek Inspiration Beyond
Feel free to check out 157 Miles Per Hour by @PKMichelle for some extra inspiration and ideas to spice up your own storytelling!
IV. All in All
Everything in all and all in everything, your story was an absolute gem to read. It's a compelling start with room for further exploration of the protagonist's journey and the challenges she could face.
Good luck with your future writing projects!
That's it, that's all.
Hoping the review has been of value to you!
With Rose-tinted regards!
Points: 34172
Reviews: 172
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