The Demon in My Bedroom

When the demon struck, the last thing I expected was to befriend it.

It began as a curse.

Every night, the sinister shadows in my bedroom coiled and shifted and loomed above me. Sometimes they took on different forms, each more chilling than the next. “Stay away from me,” I whispered desperately, but the only response was the wind laughing with amusement at my words.

One night, something materialised from the shadows. “Hello, Iris.” I quivered with shock. Surely this was merely a figment of my imagination- a dream, perhaps.

Hovering above me was a seven-foot tall, faceless creature - a heresy of nature - that seemed to be made entirely of shadows. Its bulging eyes, devoid of humanity, glowed red in the dark, and its features contorted into a nightmarish grin, a mockery of a human smile.

I was petrified and glued to the spot in shock. Every fibre of my being screamed in terror, my blood frozen.

But you should never trust what you see. “Iris,” the demon said. “Why are you afraid?”

I couldn’t tell if it was mocking me or if there was genuineness in its tone.

“I am not here to torment you. I am here to guide you through the difficult nights, the nights where the wind is the only one listening to your heaving sobs.” The creature’s hand reached out in an embrace.

The shadows wrapped around me tightly, and I found…comfort. Comfort in the tenebrosity that engulfed me, in the lilt to the demon’s voice.

The nights became easier.

The shadows stirred still, but this time I knew what lay within the darkness.

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kaitlyn
Review
kaitlyn wrote a review · Fri Jun 28, 2024 5:34 pm

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Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm Kate and I'm here to leave a quick review!!


First Impression

Well this was a surprisingly wholesome little piece here. I really love the description at the start. You fully commit to it and making it scary before we of course have that lovely twist.

Anyway let's get right to: Kate's Line by Line Reactions;

When the demon struck, the last thing I expected was to befriend it.

It began as a curse.

Every night, the sinister shadows in my bedroom coiled and shifted and loomed above me. Sometimes they took on different forms, each more chilling than the next. “Stay away from me,” I whispered desperately, but the only response was the wind laughing with amusement at my words.


Well that's not typically the kind of stories that you tend to hear about demons in general but love that we're subverting the more popular trope just a little bit as we're starting out right here.

One night, something materialised from the shadows. “Hello, Iris.” I quivered with shock. Surely this was merely a figment of my imagination- a dream, perhaps.

Hovering above me was a seven-foot tall, faceless creature - a heresy of nature - that seemed to be made entirely of shadows. Its bulging eyes, devoid of humanity, glowed red in the dark, and its features contorted into a nightmarish grin, a mockery of a human smile.

I was petrified and glued to the spot in shock. Every fibre of my being screamed in terror, my blood frozen.


Oooh I am loving the description there. I think that's a wonderful way to really bring about and visualize the exact horror that poor Iris is seeing and feeling in this moment and you can see that we'd all pretty much have exactly the same reaction Iris did.

But you should never trust what you see. “Iris,” the demon said. “Why are you afraid?”

I couldn’t tell if it was mocking me or if there was genuineness in its tone.

“I am not here to torment you. I am here to guide you through the difficult nights, the nights where the wind is the only one listening to your heaving sobs.” The creature’s hand reached out in an embrace.


Oooh interesting. Quite a profound message there for starters, not judging things solely on how they might appear and it looks like quite the peace offering. Love the little subversion on the whole idea of a demon there. I honestly really enjoy pieces like that.

The shadows wrapped around me tightly, and I found…comfort. Comfort in the tenebrosity that engulfed me, in the lilt to the demon’s voice.

The nights became easier.

The shadows stirred still, but this time I knew what lay within the darkness.


Ahh that's a beautiful moment to end on, the shadows being the comfort and being there for here to see her through those horrifying nights. I almost wonder if its a metaphor for someone growing up and not being afraid of the dark but in either interpretation its just as sweet and powerful.

Aaand that's it for this oneee!!!

Overall

Overall quite nicely done. Really love to see a little moment of subversion like that and how sometimes even the scariest beings that spawn from the darkness simply want to be kind and help someone out. Its a lovely little message no matter how you chose to interpret it.

As always remember to: Take what you think was helpful and forget the rest!

Stay Safe and Have a Nice Day!
Kate


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Mavraak
Review
Mavraak wrote a review · Mon Jan 01, 2024 8:52 am

Hey there! Just wanted to share my thoughts on this cool story about Iris and a faceless demon that pops up from her shadows. 🌙👹

First off, major props to the writer for setting up that spine-chilling vibe. The descriptions really had me feeling the creepy night atmosphere, and I could totally picture Iris facing off with those ominous shadows. 👻

Now, here's the twist—cue the faceless demon! Instead of the usual horror story where demons are out to scare the daylights out of you, this one takes a different route. The demon becomes Iris's unexpected comfort buddy, which is honestly a curveball I didn't see coming. 😮👹

Iris's journey from terror to finding solace in the shadows is pretty cool. It gives the story this unexpected emotional touch that you don't always get in supernatural tales. 👏

But, and there's always a but, right? The demon's intentions stay a bit mysterious throughout. I get that it adds to the intrigue, but a bit more clarity could've given the story that extra oomph. 🤔📚

All in all, this is a neat read, especially if you're into stories that mix up the usual scary stuff with a touch of the unexpected. It's like a spooky surprise party—you might not know what's going on, but you're still having a good time! 🎉📖

Hello there, human! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!

Shalt we start?

Top Graham Cracker - Iris is alone in their bedroom with only the darkness to face. A demon with glowing red eyes and unfathomably sharp claws appears in their room, but surprisingly, it doesn’t want to harm Iris…

Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - If you would like, you could make Iris’ dialogue in italics, to show that they are whispering. That’s only if you want, though.

Chocolate Bar - I liked how the demon hugged Iris after it talked to them. It may have looked like a dangerous monster, but it was a friend. Goes to show that no one should judge a book by its cover.

Closing Graham Cracker - A cute, yet slightly spooky short story! (If it were a genre then it’d be one of my favorites). There are friends in those one least expects, even the demons.

Have a fantastic day/night!

Howdy hey! Gengar here to leave a (short) review!

General Impression:

This was a super spooky story with a wholesome twist! Those kinds of stories are always super cool.

What I Liked:

I liked the descriptive vocabulary used, such as “heresy of nature” and “comfort in the tenebrosity”. It invokes strong emotion and really shows how scared Iris is.

Areas of Improvement:

I feel that this story ends abruptly. There could be some more detail about what Iris and the monster did with each other after their meeting

I hope my review could be helpful. I wish you a good day/night!
—GengarIsBestBoy



No one achieves anything alone.
— Leslie Knope