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141,381 Literary Works • 674,386 Reviews
i am not really getting this story line.
i can't seem to get my mind into it, as it doesn't seem to flow.
But i loved the description on the sunset. i believe that there should be more description into the story and preferable read through and make sure you haven't got [i] in the story as it put me off quite a bit. i didn't really get this sentence 'Humans are powerless." She finally says something and that recovers her confidence in herself' i don't understand what it means. Maybe you could rephrase it some how. But that might just be me. Overall i think that this can develop quite well, just remember to proof read things and double check that everything is how you want it to be.
Keep writing and i hope to read more work from you!