~Gone
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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Firstly, I'm interested in what's going to happen.
However, I find that in many points it's hard to visualize where the character is- as it lacks description-.
Also, in some points the character acts like an aloof, experienced commander, in others he's like a child, especially his thoughts as he talks to the old lady.
And that's another thing- in some points it's unclear whether he's thinking or speaking.
Just my humble opinion