~Gone
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125,008 Literary Works • 672,828 Reviews
Grammar? Darn, I checked it two times and found no mistakes... I guess my FCE level of English ain't enough yet >:0 . Thanks a lot for sharing your experience, I'll never start the day by MC waking up in the bed =D Or if that's the case, then make it pretty short. Thanks a lot ^^
A quick note-- I didn't find this boring, but I do thing this is way too long to be posted in one chunk.
Also, I've learned from painful experience not to start anything with a scene in which an MC is getting out of bed/getting up. Right away, the reader is bored, and you are forced to go through their whole morning routine in detail. So yeah, I'd start it in a different point in the story line.
You will also get more reviews if you do a quick grammar read-through. It is very annoying to be engrossed in a story, and then suddenly have a few incomplete or run-on sentences jar you out of the story. I also noticed a few spelling errors, but those can be easily fixed.
Hope this helps a little!
Canislupis
I did expect people to get bored over my scenario anyway, so no harsh feeling ^^ I'm still trying to get that "show more than tell" and "keep it interesting" in my hand and mind, I guess takes darn practice. I appreciate all the effort, thanks a lot ^^ Once I get the proper time, I'll sit to it and see if my mind has any good ideas at editing it again.
As about how he knows her name, that's quite easy = The students had to stand up and tell something about themselves, professor calls them by names, thus the MC in my scenario just remembered hearing the name f.e.
Cheers and thanks!
Kyousuke
Hey this is good but confusing. It's the first day but he knows the girl Diana? I think what steered away Jaguar and me because I too got bored and didn't finish it was it was too detailed. All the description bored me alot. So I skipped it and got a face load of some girl who seems to be PMSing or just wacko and some other random girl. That's where I left off. I think that you should rewrite this and make it alot shorter because on this site writing 20 page chapters like J.K Rowling is going to deter alot of people from your story which seems to be really good!
I think it's cool that your collaborating with someone else so yeah..if you do rewrite it or change it or something PM me.
~Jasmine Bells~
Peace, Love, Writing and Insanity
I am REALLY sorry to have to say this but....
I got bored.
I know this sounds harsh, but after the first couple of paragraphs, I got too bored to finish it.
It was really good and detailed. However, there were a few grammar mistakes...unless you put them in there intentionally. Lol. Shew? I think show or showed? Usualed to? Maybe used to? Other than that I didn't find any problems.
Keep up the writing. PM me when the next part comes out. 
Well it is definietly a very long story, but still its really good. You explained everything well and I couldn't find any problems. PM me on the next one.
Good job!