Young Writers Society

Also, "counter-attacking" unpaid volunteers who take time out of their busy lives solely to help you is a little ungrateful.

Kyousuke wrote:Now, my favorite part: You've jumped to conclusions =). Have I wrote that it's just a fighting tourney? Do you know already what the tourney is really like? No. Did I say masters are fighting too? No. Did I specifically say that the two guilds will be fighting against each other? No. The problem is that it's just one chapter and you've jumped to conclusions of what you think. I know very well all those famous stories and whatsoever and I have no intention to "use them and spin it my own way". I'm using my own brains here, thinking everything up and doing everything for a reason, which reader usually finds out later as the story goes. This part always irritates me, people jump to conclusions and go saying it's cliche, which irritates me when I know very well how the story is planned.

My apologies, snapped out of control.

Hey! I'm KitxKat, or Kit, and I'm gonna review your work.
Anything I our in purple is a grammar error. Anything blue is anthing else

Kyousuke wrote:
On top of a cliff next to the river, cliff variously covered in flowers between bright green grass, stood a person in front of a stone tablet. Slight wind played with his wind-blown #400080 ">YOu don't need wind in there twice. It should be slight wind played with his hair.brown hair and bright loose shirt, revealing traces of tears, which dried out.

He took an emblem with a panther and a wolf out of a pocket of his dark blue jeans. A few seconds later he crouched and put it on the stone tablet.
“One for you, one for me, as promised, right? Even that it’s kind of late… I hope you rest in peace up in the skies, so please watch over me as I’ll make you proud.”
He looked at the skies with slight smile as the skies were turning orange and brown while sun was saying it’s good bye.

“It’s spring, sun at the horizon… Must be around six in the evening, already about time to go.”
Last look at the tablet, last sad look.
“Well, I’m off.”
He stood up and walked away through the forest full of spring’s colorful scent.

Soon he entered a city, surrounded by stone walls and full of two floor buildings. Some time later through all the streets he arrived to a big two floor stone building with a velvet iris painted above the entrance doors.
Without any hesitation he opened the doors and walked inside a hall room with a lot of people. He greeted everybody on his way to wooden doors at back of the hall room and was respectfully greeted in return. Behind those doors a hallway led to another room, a rather well decorated room with a circle table in a middle, surrounded by six chairs. Soon he entered that room and sat down on the last free chair as all others were already taken by people of various age, but same velvet iris symbol on their skin.

“Again late Kyou, you still keep to your strange methods?” complained one of them.
“Give me a break. You know well I’m too used to live by the sun and besides, I believe we were called here for a reason.”
“Ey, don’t try to change the discussion!”
“Enough! Kyou’s got a point. You can argue once we finish, for now let’s talk about the reason you were called here.” An older man in velvet clothes brought forth silence.
“I was asked by a friend, guild master of Sparkling Viper, to cooperate in an idea of his to increase overall guild skill.”

Many showed an annoyed expression, expecting something ordinary.
“A fighting tourney.”
Many couldn’t believe their ears at first, but then smiles and grins appeared, making the man in velvet laugh.
“I knew you’d like to hear that. Let’s get to the details.”
Everybody payed full attention to the man in velvet.
“According to his plan all I can tell you is that preparations last one month from tomorrow and teams consist of one master and three students. Oh by the way, the teaching method is completely up to the master, but no fighting between the teams before the tourney!”
“Aw come on.” Complained one of the five.

“I said no fights between the teams! Back to the main question, are you willing to try within the rules?”
“You bet.”
“Sure.”
….
Everybody agreed as they looked at each other with an imaginable desire to overcome everybody else, to be the best. The man in velvet had a wide smile as he looked at others, a moment later though he disturbed their thoughts.
“Alright then. Make sure you obey the rules.”
“Yeah,yeah.”
Most of the five were already prepared to rush from the meeting room.
“Oh well… Dismissed.”

Out of those five three literally ran towards the doors, trying to be the first in the main hall room where all low ranking members were told earlier to gather by the guild master.
Kyou and one woman slowly stood up and headed to the hall room without any hurry.
“Hey Kyou, about…” the guild master was interrupted by Kyou, “Don’t gibe me an advice how to live, please. It’s my own decision to make.”
“How can I not worry when one of the five best is in the dark clouds…” murmured the guild master.

Kyou and the woman walked away from the meeting room.
“Before the whole party starts, do you intend to go to the wilderness?” she asked.
“Indeed I do. Same goes for you I suppose, right Sera?”
“True… Well, let’s hope we won’t meet at bad terms.”
“Heh yea, conflict between our teams would be darn bad… Hm, however I’ve got something up my mind.”
“You do? What that could be?”
“Let’s better discuss it later. How about meeting in two weeks at ‘Oldy Marshmallow’? We’d discuss it there.”
“It better be good or you know what will happen.”
“Haha, should be worth it.”

Meanwhile both Kyou and Sera reached the doors to the hall room. Once Kyou opened the doors, they witnessed an unbelievable chaos. The three, who ran ahead, stood surrounded by fifteen low rank members. Emotions bursted out each time somebody from the fifteen was chosen, making it whole look like if somebody did a goal in soccer. Soon Sera joined the three in a middle of the hall while Kyou leaned against a wall and waited until the whole scene was over.

Whole chaos disappeared, everybody left the hall except three – two women and one man.
Let down, anger, depression. Their faces showed all this.
Kyou walked to them.

“What? Are you here to laugh at us too?!” the man was rather angry.
“Have no reason for that.”
“Then what are you here for?! Everybody already left.”
“For the main reason of today’s evening – to recruit you.”
“Is it even worth it? We’re the worst here without any talent.” Half-loudly said a woman with a red auburn hair.
“Look guys, just because you’re laughed at doesn’t mean you’re the worst. If you struggle to get better, you will get better. If you do nothing, then you’ll be just like they said. You do want to be better than them, don’t you? You want to never feel like this again. Then for freakin' sake do something! I’m here offering you a way, but if you accept it, you’re promising me you’ll do exactly as I say. On top of that, without the will to not give up on the way, you’ll fail inevitably.”

A light of hope could be seen in their eyes, though to make sure the man asked: “You mean… We’ve got a chance?”
“That depends on the decision you make. I’ll give you a choice. You either come tomorrow at six o’clock in the morning with travel bags at east gate or you remain rotting here. Decide carefully, because what I offer can cost you your own life if you do not try hard enough.”

Kyou noticed a hesitation appear in their eyes.
“It’s up to you what you prefer. Fight to the very last breathe or suffer a pitiful life. It’s all up to you.”
Kyou turned around and headed off the guild house, leaving the three to themselves.

“Those faces… Feels nostalgic, doesn’t it, Lessa? Reminds me of our motto – I prefer to die trying than to rot at one place.” He murmured.

Hey there! I haven't got the time now, but I'm saving this page to review later (offline). Keep a weather eye on this spot for a review!
Jenth

EDIT:

Let’s begin, Kyousuke!

On top of Next to the river, atop a cliff next to the river, cliff variously covered covered in with various flowers between and bright green grass, stood a persona man stood in front of a stone tablet. A Sslight wind played with his wind-blown brown hair and bright loose shirt, revealing traces of dried tears. , which dried out.

Next to the river, atop a cliff covered with various flowers and bright green grass, a man stood in front of a stone tablet. A slight wind played with his brown hair and loose shirt, revealing traces of dried tears.