Published December 28, 2010
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139,005 Literary Works • 672,397 Reviews
Hallo buddy! Glad to see you writing again!
This time there were only a few grammar mistakes, so let's address them.
Why am I, it should be. The way you have it reads out: why I am...?
At least put a comma after breaking news, so it's not as awkwardly read.
Comma after who. Again, makes it less awkwardly read. Also, grammar rules, y'know. :}
You also had a few comma splices, but since I use them like air, I feel hypocritical pointing them out.
So, my dear friend, I want you to listen to what I say and not what anyone else says. This was fantastic! The first paragraph literally defined my feelings, and in the end it brought out your character. This was a gorgeous piece of work, and by no means cliche or "without meat". I truly hope you continue writing like this.
Love & Blessings,
Aushy