Hurt in the shadows - Revised

~ Deleted from existence ~

Comments & reviews · 5
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Wolferion
Comment

Thanks a lot to all of you =) I deleted one stanza and changed the very last phrase. It should stick to the main theme of the poem and I hope it clears a bit the image of what I'm talking about ^^ It might be still confusing, but I guess that's the way I write for now =S

Again thanks a lot!

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Emorykings
Review

I see you really took time to work on this pieces, your constructive english, rhythm and imagery was cool.
But what i think you really did not pay attention to what the meaning of your poem is, making it more meaningful and easy to understand by your audience, as an audience i wont want to crack my brain in other to understand what a poem istalking about, i should be able to grasp it at the end of the poem.
Any way keep writting the more the better

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Demoness
Comment

Cant find anything i dont like about this Poem!!
Absolutely amazing! Keep writing

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Mikesly Comment

The only things I could think of were some things involving Heaven and... the opposite, and stuff like that. Like when you said a field of liars, made you want to flee, and shadows.



The magic is only in what books say, how they stitched the patches of the universe together into one garment for us.
— Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451