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Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

Love at first sight?

by WimpWriting


I've always heard people talking about love at first sight but never in a million years did I think that I would get to experience it firsthand. I never would've thought that a lame summer camp was how I would meet the love of my life. The moment our eyes met, I experienced that spine tinkling feeling, my palms got all sweaty, the hair on my arms stood up and causing me blinking ten times like an idiot, I had a gut feeling that this was it. The moment my whole life has been building up to.

I saw fireworks going off all around as he took a step forward in my direction and gave a grin. I stood there frozen like a statue when one of his friends came to my rescue and grabbed him away. I knew I sounded a bit ungrateful since most people only dream of having a moment like that, but I just needed a minute to gather my thoughts and process what I was feeling.I promised myself that next time I saw him I would talk to him.

As the welcoming started, my eyes were wandering around the room looking for him. As I turned around and locked eyes with him, there was this wave that came over my body. I was intrigued by the look he gave me. Like those eyes wanted to draw me closer to him. I just couldn't take it anymore as I broke my promise and turned around to walk away when a strong grip grabbed my wrist and pulled me back causing my heart to beat rapidly. He broke the silence and introduced himself, so I did the same. I shook his hand and an undesribable chemistry evolved causing sparks to fly and making the moment electric.

As the evening and conversation progressed, I found that we share an immense emotional and spiritual connection. His eyes and physical appearance which drew me to him was just a door containing a wonderful human being who got me like no one else could. So yeah, people may believe that love at first sight is just a myth or a theory, but after my experience I believe that if looks could make you fall in love then I'd be head over heels.

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83 Reviews

Points: 1067
Reviews: 83

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Sun May 25, 2014 11:39 am
Dutiful wrote a review...



Hi there! I'm here to review your fabulous work!

Well I must say, I wasn't expecting this at all! I thought it was going to be a rant or your thoughts and feelings regarding love at fist sight. But imagine my surprise when I saw this as a personal experience.

As much as I love this work, I'm going to have to contradict it as I think in a more perspective nature. According to me, I don't think it was 'love' per se, but merely an infatuation that one more often than not gets confused with love.

Because, if you think about what 'love' actually is and what everyone in this world perceives it to be, then I'm pretty sure you would agree with me when I say that this isn't love. It's an attraction, and a really strong one at that. The reason why I'm saying this is because, as I"ve seen in many cases where people claim to be in love at first sight, it usually fades away once he/she really gets to know this person in question. I'm not saying that this happens always, but it does happen quite a few times.

What you've experienced is utterly beautiful and I'm pretty sure described accurately. I enjoyed reading this very much!

...the hair on my arms stood up and causing me blinking ten times like an idiot, I had a gut feeling that this was it.


The sentence, "I had a gut feeling could have been written as a separate one, because it makes the whole sentence look wordy and unattractive.

I saw fireworks going off all around as he took a step forward in my direction and gave a grin


I think you could have written as:

"I saw fireworks go off all around me as he took a step forward, wearing a grin on his face."

It's just a suggestion, of course.

I just couldn't take it anymore as I broke my promise and turned around to walk away when a strong grip grabbed my wrist and pulled me back causing my heart to beat rapidly.


Again, the sentence is too wordy. You might want to split that up into smaller fragments.

Well, that was my review! I think you did a fabulous job and I really, really enjoyed reading this!

Good job!

Keep Writing!

Cheers!




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130 Reviews

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Reviews: 130

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Sat Apr 26, 2014 12:24 pm
Em101cats wrote a review...



Hi, it's Em101cats, and I'm here to review!


Love at first sight. What a magical but basic sentence. And you took this basic but magical sentence and turned it into four wonderful paragraphs! Bravo!



At first I thought that you weren't going to get into a story of your past experience with love at first sight. Most writings just describe it and be done with it. But you got me interested. What a nice story by the way! The way you described your feelings just blew me away. Sweaty hands? Spine tinkling feeling? Just plain genius.



... And process what I was feeling.I promised myself...


Just a nitpick. The period in between feeling and I. There should be a space between the "I" and the period. I do that all the time though, so don't worry about it :D

There was this wave that came over my body.


Wow, the words you used were fantastic here! I don't want you to change this if you don't want to, but you could explain more about this wave feeling. Wave of tingling? Sadness? Hope? Dreams? Whatever else there could be? XD Just wondering.

Other than that, I saw no mistakes. I loved this! I'll give it a nice Like Star and go to publish a story of my own ;D

Keep up the GREAT writing!

~Em101cats~



Random avatar
WimpWriting says...


Wow thank you so much. I appreciate your comments and review. And as for the "wave that came over my body" it was more for the way that he looked at me. Like his eyes don't just see your face, he sees past that right through to your soul. The way he looked at me made my body shudder, like a sudden wave came over my body, because all I could do was stand there frozen in one spot with beautiful piercing brown eyes burning through mine. I know that's a mouthful but I just wanted to explain it in the best way possible. I hope I answered the questions that you have, if not then feel free to ask. =) Thank you so much again. :D



Em101cats says...


Oh, I see now! I probably shouldn't have even asked about it, knowing myself that it's really hard to explain something like that. You don't have to change it. :D



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39 Reviews

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Fri Apr 25, 2014 6:13 pm
TheFlamingonator wrote a review...



Hey, here to review(-ish)

I've written similar things to this before, being such a hopeless romantic as I am. I enjoyed reading this, since it describes the feeling of when you start crushing on someone and the utter feeling of 'who the heck is that hottie/adorkable guy/cutie?'.

I couldn't help but notice that this is under the Fantasy cathegory, but it doesn't have any 'traditional' Fantasy things to it. Is this only an introduction to a Fantasy story, and if so will you write what happens next?

I'd be very interesting in reading what happens next in this story and also other things that you hve written :)

Overall, cute and intruiging.



Random avatar
WimpWriting says...


Thanks so much! I would love to read some of your work too and as for the fantasy part, I haven't actually thought of doing a follow-up of what happens next, but you just gave me an idea to do so. Thanks again and have a great day =)




Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality.
— Jules de Gaultier