This poem is so damn good!!! You are such a superior poet that I'm at a lost as to what I should write in this review.
Anyways, you expressed all the feelings inside you very well through this poem. As Nikayla said, the metaphor in the first line of the poem is gripping, hooking the reader into the poem. Although the poem seems to loose its charm somewhere in the middle, it is regained towards the end and the last two lines gives the reader a feeling of satisfaction of having read a wonderful poem.
Using letters in the lowercase at the beginning of each line makes the poem unique and special. The words have been phrased nicely and punctuation marks were used at the right times. The stanzas, too, were well-formatted. I did not notice any grammatical errors.
As you go from one situation to another in your everyday day, like, from the church parking lot to soundtracks to poetry to the trash compactor, you seem to be in the same state of depression and fatigue. I mean, the things that you deal with in these situations, which includes your friends, family and writer's block, are very different from each other and the type of hatred or frustration you have towards them must somehow vary, right? The first time you read the poem, it seems perfect and flawless, but as you read it few more times, you realize that the poem starts becoming monotonous, especially while trying to present the your position in a given scenerio and the feelings which begin to arise in your mind.
Moving on, the following lines have left me speechless with amazement:
"and knowing there is so much more
out there in the valley or whatever universe"
These lines are bursting with frustration, anguish and thirst and personally, I think they are what increases its power.
You are one amazing poet! Keep up the good work!!
Points: 4517
Reviews: 55
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