Young Writers Society

Heya, Stranger! Trelose here.

First of all, I like how it addresses the topics and expresses my thoughts on the situation. Well done on that.

I'd like if it kept a consistent rhythm, personally, but still... It's well done. It's very clear on its topic while still making you think, and not a bunch of nothing.

Keep on writing, Stranger!

hello my name is Hannah and here is my review
I really enjoyed reading this poem I think its absolutely amazing and great to read.
There are no spelling or grammatical errors which is good and I also like how you have added speech marks possibly to show that you're quoting someone? anyway overall I think this is brilliant. keep up the good work and I think you should listen to Morrigan down there they made some good points

Heyo Strange.

This review's going to get me my next star. Wheeeeee

So I found out what this was about because of the comment below. While poetry should usually stand on its own, I understand the importance that it plays in social commentary. That being said, maybe drop a link for people like me who don't keep up with the news? I didn't understand quite what it was about until I read up on it a bit.

That brings me to my next point. If you don't want to drop a link, this does need another leg to stand on. "and blame it on our influences" is nice, but maybe add more of a connotation to it. I understand this line at its basic level, but not in the situation as it is applied without background knowledge. So perhaps add something about parents shoveling money as permission into a black hole or something, or blaming it on being too rich, or even "and blame it on our affluences." That would be snarky.

you are reminded of

Just, hurry up
and leave.

Is this, by any chance, inspired by the "affluenza" teen, who was just arrested in Mexico? Just curious.