Young Writers Society

haha not to start weird right off the bat but the third from last line.

Since I'm not here,

I think here should be there.

I agree with some of the other people I am not she what you're getting at here. Maybe thats the point some oone day dreaming of a place better then their own? Or a personal peice for you that you alone really understand either way.

The peice has an intresting flow to it. I really like the diffrent imadrey and the last few lines. Starting with "this is the moment that will.." It's just an intresting thought.

Strange, wat r u doing.

Satire is satire, yes, but someone else has to get the joke, and I feel like few people would. Is this a parody of general nature poetry? A parody of a meditation?

So this is a daydream of the east coast when the narrator is on the west coast? I suppose it is rather amusing in a way that they would be thinking about the other side of the country, which is equally as beautiful, though in a different way, than the west coast.

I feel like the overall problem with this is that it focuses on too many things, too many bits and pieces, without an overall theme. It's naturey, yes, but if you're going to focus on that, don't put all the contradictory bits in. Focus on the theme in the first stanza OR the theme in the second OR the theme in the third. Yes, there is the first and last line bolded, but what does that mean? Does the narrator want to be jarred awake from their daydream? Or are you satirizing poets and saying that they need to be punched in the face when they wax poetical?

If so, Strange, you might need to get that across in a different way, or make the poem a little more obviously bad. You know and I know that the content in the middle of the poem is contradictory, but others are going to think that it's pretty. You know, the masses and such.

Hope this helped! Happy YWSing!

I'm not really sure what was going on here. Therefore this review is going to take the form of my interpretation of this poem. Here goes:

Paragraph one:
So the speaker, whoever they are, really likes warm, sunny days. Warming the heart could either be taken literally, or could mean it makes them happy. I'm going to stick with the theme I've found and say it's probably the latter. Blood flowing around your body is what keeps you alive, so I suppose they're probably saying that the sun makes them feel more alive, again, happy. Then there's a random portal reference. Finally, for some reason they don't want to feel happy.

Paragraph two:
Well I'm fairly certain the Potomac is a river, which the second sentence says that the speaker finds musical, making them want to dance. Then they go on to explain that one of the reasons they're dancing is because of how great nature and happiness and other things like that are. Last, they speak about how much they love the world around them in this moment.

Paragraph three:
So in this paragraph they're speaking about how this time they spent here was so good they'll remember it, even if they normally forget these sorts of things. Next they speak about how time doesn't have any meaning here, saying 15 minutes will last forever, while three hours doesn't feel very long, or long enough. My impression of the final part is that either they're speaking about how much they love one place, because they can't think of the words to describe one that's even better, or they're being sarcastic and wish they were back in the place they're talking about.

So there you go, my interpretation of this poem. Feel free to comment and tell me how wrong I am.

I take this person hates being separated from the thing that brings him joy.